Tag: awareness

Identity, Thought Life, Uncategorized

How To Let Go Of Control

Jaime

Lately, I’ve been obsessing about my physical appearance. I got new make-up (was way too excited when it arrived) and just made another purchase last night. I’ve also wanted a new wardrobe (even though I hardly leave my house these days).

I truly thought I was focusing on appearance, but then I realized it’s not about what I look like (well, maybe a little). It’s my way of managing things when I feel powerless in other areas of my life.

Control gives the illusion of security and safety. It might make us feel better in the moment but ultimately ends up confusing our priorities and choices. If we take the layer of control away, we often see that there are deeper issues involved.

What steps can we take to become less controlling?

  1. Awareness

 Identify the situations you find yourself being controlling.

Some might be;

-house needs to be clean

–appearance needs to be flawless

-need to do it all (perfect mom, wife, employee)

-relationships (boyfriend, husband, kids)

If you are having a hard time pinpointing areas;

-ask someone close to you what they see (others can oftentimes see things that we can’t).

-ask the Holy Spirit to reveal these areas in your life.

2. Need

What is underneath the behavior? What is this control fulfilling? 

There is something you are getting from it. Some examples of underlying needs;

-self-esteem, insecurity (i.e., feeling “good enough”)

-anxiety (i.e., predictability, stability)

-trust (i.e., protection from being hurt)

3. Choice

Ask yourself; are these behaviors working for me?

If not, start with changing one (only one) of the situations you’ve identified. Your flesh will fight you on this, but it’s about training your mind and not allowing your feelings to run the show, especially when you’re uncomfortable (and you will be at the beginning).

4. Pray

-for the strengthening of your mind

-for increased faith and trust in God (in general and in the specific situations you are working on)

-for wisdom as you move forward with the process.

I highly encourage getting an accountability partner. It’s hard to do this stuff on our own. If you can’t think of someone, feel free to contact me, and I can help.

Where do you struggle with control the most?

Anxiety Series

Prepare For Battle – Day 5

Jaime

Today we develop our battle plan.

1 Peter 5:8 tells us to be alert and of sober mind. We have been doing this by becoming aware of how anxiety affects us and the ways we respond do it.

Strategy #1 Awareness

Know Your Weaknesses
-temptations (i.e., worry)
-desire (i.e., fix things on your own)
-response (i.e., panic)

Know The Enemy Of God
-mission/goal (i.e., separate us from God)
-how the enemy works (i.e., division, hatred)

Know Who God Is
-His attributes
-His promises
-His faithfulness

Know Who You Are
-chosen
-protected
-empowered
-victorious

Our second strategy comes from Ephesians 6:11, telling us to put on the armor of God. The moment we turned our lives over to God is the moment we received our armor. Unfortunately, many of us forgot to put it on.

Strategy #2 Put On Your Armor, And Keep It On!

Know Gods Word
-read it daily
-truth vs. lies
-test all thoughts against God’s Word, if they are not in alignment with what He says about you, kick them to the curb.

Prayer
-pray boldly in the name of Jesus
-pray God’s attributes and who you are in Him
-proclaim His promises and the victory that is yours
-pray for strength and power

Choice
-obedience over desires
-believe what God’s Word says over thoughts and feelings
-faith over fear

Remember
-the battle has already been won
-we stand in victory

This battle was never meant to be ours alone.

When we choose to partner with God, we are a force to be reckoned with.

Are you ready for battle?

Thought Life

Just A Thought

Jaime

Our thoughts influence us more than we think.

During times of stress I’ve thought about driving far away from my family; starting over in a town where no one knows me. I’d be a server at a local restaurant. When done with my shifts, I’d go home to a quiet place with no responsibilities except for watching tv and eating ice cream.

Even though I’ve taken the time to think about this, I would never follow through with it. Or would I? After all, thinking about doing something and actually doing it are two different things, right?

My thoughts have great power over me. In many cases, they’ve created my reality. When I am focused on my needs and desires, my brain starts going down the road of “you deserve more, your happiness is most important.” I can easily feed into these things.

Our decisions don’t typically start with action, but with a thought. Recovering addicts will most likely tell you that relapse happened in their minds before ever using. Same goes for those who have been unfaithful. Lustful thoughts usually precede physical contact.

The more we think about, obsess, perseverate and mull over things, the more real they become.

As much as I’d like to say that these momentary thoughts of escapism are harmless, I have to be conscious not to entertain them. I know what I am capable of; therefore, I need to protect my mind, heart, and family.

“But we are human. We are not dead. We can’t shut our minds off.” All true.

And

We can choose to engage or disengage with our thoughts as they come up. They don’t have the authority to control us unless we let them.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn God’s will for you which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:2 NLT

Be mindful of each thought. Develop awareness of patterns of thinking. Be gentle with yourself. It’s a process.