Tag: choice

Dependence on God, Thought Life, Uncategorized

“You Know You Want To”

Jaime

“You know you want to,” it whispers.

“It’s not like you’re doing anything wrong.”

“You’re allowed to look and think about it/him/her.”

“No one has to know.”

“Aren’t you curious?”

The Voice of Temptation

It speaks my language

Knows my weaknesses

Appeals to my senses

The Voice of Temptation

Brings up my past

Deludes my thoughts

Blurs my vision

The Voice of Temptation

Spits lies

Is convincing

Wants me to engage my flesh

The Voice of God

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

The Voice of God

“God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12

The Voice of God

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

It’s time to make a choice.

Flesh vs. Spirit

What’s it gonna be?

Stay awake and pray so that you won’t enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Matthew 26:41

Identity, Thought Life, Uncategorized

How To Let Go Of Control

Jaime

Lately, I’ve been obsessing about my physical appearance. I got new make-up (was way too excited when it arrived) and just made another purchase last night. I’ve also wanted a new wardrobe (even though I hardly leave my house these days).

I truly thought I was focusing on appearance, but then I realized it’s not about what I look like (well, maybe a little). It’s my way of managing things when I feel powerless in other areas of my life.

Control gives the illusion of security and safety. It might make us feel better in the moment but ultimately ends up confusing our priorities and choices. If we take the layer of control away, we often see that there are deeper issues involved.

What steps can we take to become less controlling?

  1. Awareness

 Identify the situations you find yourself being controlling.

Some might be;

-house needs to be clean

–appearance needs to be flawless

-need to do it all (perfect mom, wife, employee)

-relationships (boyfriend, husband, kids)

If you are having a hard time pinpointing areas;

-ask someone close to you what they see (others can oftentimes see things that we can’t).

-ask the Holy Spirit to reveal these areas in your life.

2. Need

What is underneath the behavior? What is this control fulfilling? 

There is something you are getting from it. Some examples of underlying needs;

-self-esteem, insecurity (i.e., feeling “good enough”)

-anxiety (i.e., predictability, stability)

-trust (i.e., protection from being hurt)

3. Choice

Ask yourself; are these behaviors working for me?

If not, start with changing one (only one) of the situations you’ve identified. Your flesh will fight you on this, but it’s about training your mind and not allowing your feelings to run the show, especially when you’re uncomfortable (and you will be at the beginning).

4. Pray

-for the strengthening of your mind

-for increased faith and trust in God (in general and in the specific situations you are working on)

-for wisdom as you move forward with the process.

I highly encourage getting an accountability partner. It’s hard to do this stuff on our own. If you can’t think of someone, feel free to contact me, and I can help.

Where do you struggle with control the most?

Anxiety Series

Prepare For Battle – Day 5

Jaime

Today we develop our battle plan.

1 Peter 5:8 tells us to be alert and of sober mind. We have been doing this by becoming aware of how anxiety affects us and the ways we respond do it.

Strategy #1 Awareness

Know Your Weaknesses
-temptations (i.e., worry)
-desire (i.e., fix things on your own)
-response (i.e., panic)

Know The Enemy Of God
-mission/goal (i.e., separate us from God)
-how the enemy works (i.e., division, hatred)

Know Who God Is
-His attributes
-His promises
-His faithfulness

Know Who You Are
-chosen
-protected
-empowered
-victorious

Our second strategy comes from Ephesians 6:11, telling us to put on the armor of God. The moment we turned our lives over to God is the moment we received our armor. Unfortunately, many of us forgot to put it on.

Strategy #2 Put On Your Armor, And Keep It On!

Know Gods Word
-read it daily
-truth vs. lies
-test all thoughts against God’s Word, if they are not in alignment with what He says about you, kick them to the curb.

Prayer
-pray boldly in the name of Jesus
-pray God’s attributes and who you are in Him
-proclaim His promises and the victory that is yours
-pray for strength and power

Choice
-obedience over desires
-believe what God’s Word says over thoughts and feelings
-faith over fear

Remember
-the battle has already been won
-we stand in victory

This battle was never meant to be ours alone.

When we choose to partner with God, we are a force to be reckoned with.

Are you ready for battle?

Dependence on God, Mental Health, Thought Life

Dear Anxiety

Jaime

Dear Anxiety,

A lot is going on in the world right now. I can feel you lurking beneath the surface. It’s during these times when you awaken from hibernation.

I know you think you’re protecting me, but you’re not. The truth is, you make me nuts. Hanging out with you causes a physical reaction and an excavating of all rational thinking. You plant seeds of worry that grow into skyscrapers.

You’ve ruled my days, preventing me from enjoying the precious moments in life. You were my default for the big and little things. You advised my choices and influenced my reactions. You came at me hard after my daughter was born, making me believe she was going to die.

You’ve forced yourself upon me. I never felt like I had a choice, but now it’s different.

I’ve been training for battle. I’m heavily armed. My greatest weapon?

The Truth

Truth tells me that I no longer have to engage with you. I get to choose whether or not I accept your thoughts and feelings. Even when my breath is shallow and incessant thoughts circle my brain, I Get To Choose.

I acknowledge your presence, but you will no longer control me. My choice partnered with God’s power is indestructible. And even though you still exist, I know how the story ends.

Spoiler Alert: you don’t survive.

Attitude

Change The Lens

Jaime

We typically view our parents/caregivers through a subjective lens.

As a child, my parents were superheroes. During my teenage years, they knew nothing. Once I reached adulthood, I went through a judgemental phase. I wondered about the choices they made and the “why’s” behind it.

No matter what my parents did, they were doomed. My experiences with them shaped who they were in my eyes.

A few years back, I interviewed my parents individually. I wanted to learn more about their backgrounds and experiences. I so appreciated their transparency and willingness to share themselves with me as they did. It was then that God whispered, “See my child; they are human, like you.” For the first time ever, I saw them as children of God. From that point on, I was able to love and accept them for who they were.

We all have flaws and baggage; some weigh heavier than others. Resentment and unforgiveness reside in our hearts. We drown in the memories of our past, not able to swim freely toward the future. But we don’t have to remain in these places.

The question is, how do we move forward?

  • Pray for a softening of the heart and the willingness to forgive. Ask God to see them through His eyes.
  • What’s their story? Ask them questions. If you are not comfortable with that, ask people who know/knew them.
  • And remember, they are broken people like you and me.

This doesn’t mean that whatever has happened to you is okay; it just means that you are choosing to let go of it and hand it over to God, so you can move forward. Don’t let your past define your future. You can be set free.

What steps can you take today to change your lens?

Thought Life

Just A Thought

Jaime

Our thoughts influence us more than we think.

During times of stress I’ve thought about driving far away from my family; starting over in a town where no one knows me. I’d be a server at a local restaurant. When done with my shifts, I’d go home to a quiet place with no responsibilities except for watching tv and eating ice cream.

Even though I’ve taken the time to think about this, I would never follow through with it. Or would I? After all, thinking about doing something and actually doing it are two different things, right?

My thoughts have great power over me. In many cases, they’ve created my reality. When I am focused on my needs and desires, my brain starts going down the road of “you deserve more, your happiness is most important.” I can easily feed into these things.

Our decisions don’t typically start with action, but with a thought. Recovering addicts will most likely tell you that relapse happened in their minds before ever using. Same goes for those who have been unfaithful. Lustful thoughts usually precede physical contact.

The more we think about, obsess, perseverate and mull over things, the more real they become.

As much as I’d like to say that these momentary thoughts of escapism are harmless, I have to be conscious not to entertain them. I know what I am capable of; therefore, I need to protect my mind, heart, and family.

“But we are human. We are not dead. We can’t shut our minds off.” All true.

And

We can choose to engage or disengage with our thoughts as they come up. They don’t have the authority to control us unless we let them.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn God’s will for you which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:2 NLT

Be mindful of each thought. Develop awareness of patterns of thinking. Be gentle with yourself. It’s a process.

Uncategorized

I’ve Got Plans

Jaime

Have you ever had plans for your life that ended up not working out?

My plan as a young girl was to be a singer/actress. My summers involved musicals and rock bands. I loved being on stage and in the spotlight.

An opportunity arose when I was 15 years old. I had the chance to attend a prestigious camp to further my skills and career. My parents signed me up and I was ready to go.

And…

Then I met a boy, “fell in love,” and decided to skip camp to hang out with him. We broke up a few years later.

This changed the trajectory of my life.

I’d sometimes wonder what things would’ve been like if I had gone to that camp.

That wasn’t the plan for my life.

We tend to make plans according to our desires and needs; “I want… I want to be…” Sometimes we make plans based on what others desire for us. Mom might encourage marriage to a specific person. Dad wants you to take over the family business. We are blinded by our fleshly desires, so much so that we forget to consult with God about his plans for our lives.

God gives us freedom of choice. My choices may have put me on an alternate route, but God’s will prevailed.

Have you recently made a decision or plan that didn’t pan out? We’ve all been there. Here are some things that might help:

  • Surrender your will (if this is a struggle for you, pray for the desire to do so)
  • Pray for wisdom for your future and choices
  • Be aware of his presence and promptings
  • Trust that God’s plans are better than yours

What plans in your life turned out differently than you thought they would?

Attitude

Never Satisfied

Jaime

Why is this so hard? I’d rather be doing something else. It’s too hot out.

This summer has been a challenging one. I find myself complaining a lot–often expressed through jokes and sarcasm. Regardless of how it’s packaged, it’s still complaining.

I have been discontent, and it shows through my words and attitude.

What I’m communicating through my grumbling is that God is not enough. I can say all day that I’m blessed and thankful, but my discontentment with circumstances and situations say differently.

I always want more. Things can still be a teensy bit better.

I can make all kinds of excuses as to why I grumble, but the truth is–I have an ungrateful heart.

The more I complain, the more I complain. My brain takes notes–keeping track of negative activity– and a new pattern of thinking develops.

I need to fill my mind and soul with gratitude. I want my brain to get the memo–we are switching it up to a more positive perspective. I can choose the words I speak over my life, but I need to be intentional about it.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.

Romans 12:2 NLT

I’ve been practicing mindfulness in this area. This is what it looks like:

Complaining

Gratitude

Why is this so hard?

I can do anything through Christ.

I’d rather be doing something else.

I am exactly where I need to be.

I’m too hot.

I have air conditioning (thank you, Lord).

What’s something you’ve been complaining about? How can you flip that complaint into gratitude? Please share in the comments so we can all be encouraged.

Dependence on God

Dependence Day

Jaime

July 4th is a day often celebrated with barbecues, parades, and fireworks. Independence Day is something to celebrate. But this made me think… is there such a thing as too much independence?

I was so excited when I first moved to my very own apartment. I had my own space and didn’t have to answer to anyone. All decisions were mine to make. I was the controller of my life, Miss Independent.

I had an “I can do it myself” attitude, similar to a two-year-old.

This mindset led to massive amounts of pressure on myself. When unable to meet my monumental expectations, I’d melt into a muddy puddle on the floor.

I only have myself to depend on

Being fully independent wasn’t what I’d envisioned. So, I did what any 20 something would do; I went on a relationship hunt. Upon retrieving my prey, I’d quickly realize that others—like myself—couldn’t be depended on 100% of the time.

I now understand that all humans are flawed. We mess up. We let people down. It’s not always on purpose; it just comes with the territory. We are imperfect people.

This would’ve been discouraging if it ended there, but it didn’t.

I’ve heard lots of “Trust God, Have Faith” statements since hanging around the church. But if I can’t entirely depend on myself or others, what makes God trustworthy?

People let you down

His dependability became apparent as I studied His attributes:

He never changes, ever.

He is all-knowing.

He is faithful.

He has the full picture of my life from beginning to end. He sees what no one else can. Besides that, He has personally shown up during the difficult times and uncertainties in my life. He has proven his dependability—not just in my life—but in the lives of those who came before me. It’s scattered throughout His Word.

You can depend on God

I AM an independent woman. I’m still free to make my own choices and decisions. The difference now is I choose to pray for guidance before making them; I choose to do what’s right even if I’m not “feeling” it; I choose to give all outcomes to The One who is dependable.

What prevents you from fully depending on God?

Attitude, Thought Life

But I Want To

Jaime

The food we eat affects our state of mind and overall health. In order to be fit and healthy, we need to eat well. I’ve realized over time that the same goes for my spiritual and emotional well being.

I started watching a new television series about the struggles of young adults. It has lots of explicit content.

I know what my own personal struggles and temptations are and often try to stay away from content that feeds the beasts. This show is not healthy for me to watch, yet I’m drawn to it.

The things we watch affect our minds and hearts

This is not a “though shall not” thing, more of a “this stuff seeps into my mind and heart” thing.

I’ve come to realize that my mind and heart are not always dependable when it comes to decision making. I can manipulate myself into thinking anything is right for me if I want to.

I am good at rationalizing things. For instance, I want to author books for young adults. I’d also like to mentor young women. This show could potentially help me to understand what it’s like to live as a young woman in this day and age. Therefore, its research. Boom!

I can’t undo the things I’ve seen and heard. They have played a part in my life in one way or another. Adding more length to the reel doesn’t serve me well…

But I want to watch it.

This is where I have to make a choice.

We can’t undo what we’ve seen

Will I submit to my fleshly desires and continue watching? Am I willing to accept the consequences? Do I want to regress to former ways of thinking and old patterns of behaviors?

I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do. I do know what’s best for me, but I don’t always choose that route.

What’s your “But I want to?”