Dependence on God, Drugs, Mental Health, Support, The Holidays, Uncategorized

Don’t White Knuckle Sobriety During The Holidays. Plan Ahead With These 5 Tips.

Tempted to drink during the holidays? Try these 5 practical steps to stay sober.

𝟏. 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 (for accountability purposes).

It might be awkward, but necessary if you’re serious about it. It’s easy to plan on not drinking when we’re not yet in the situation, but much harder while in the moment.

𝟐. 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. You will actively be drinking something and feel less self-conscious around others.

Heck, drink beverages in fancy cups. “I’ll have a Shirley Temple in a wine glass, please.”

𝟑. 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝. The bathroom works. Lock that door, throw water on your face, look in the mirror, and say, “You can do this, God, please help me do this.”

𝟒. 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐦, 𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐬—𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲. It will help curb those other fixations that go along with the habit.

𝟓. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞.

It’s not the most convenient thing to do, and you might get crap for it, but your true family and friends will understand. Hit a 12-step meeting, call your sponsor (if you have one), or someone else who gets it.

And remember, be gentle with yourself. After all, you ARE your own worst enemy. Take it one moment at a time.

Dependence on God, Identity, Support

Why Do We Suffer Alone?

After church on Sunday, I stayed for prayer. I was struggling. After praying with a sister in Christ, we started chatting. She, too, suffers like I do. We discussed how easy it is to talk about the minor, everyday transgressions but not the deep, dark stuff. The stuff that keeps us enslaved, preventing us from living in the freedom Jesus provided. 

So, why IS it so hard to talk about these things?

Fear

Fear of judgment

Fear of embarrassment

Fear of not being accepted

If anyone ever knew_____ then_____ (fill in the blanks).

We are called to confess our sins and pray for each other that we may be healed (James 5:16), yet we still fear what others will think about us. Your feelings are legit. We are human and DO have opinions and feelings about situations and behaviors we are unfamiliar with. And, we need to put our fleshly biases aside and be open to hearing people’s stories, walking alongside them, even if/when we don’t understand.

Sins kept in the darkness result in decay, isolation, shame, and guilt. All things Jesus died for. When we expose them to the light, they begin to lose their power (Romans 6:18).

Where do we start?

God

-Repent and thank HIM for the forgiveness already given through Jesus’ sacrifice.

-Ask God to give you the courage to expose your “stuff” to the light. Stop relying on yourself and ask for help. 

-Pray for trustworthy, faith-filled, walking-the-walk-type individuals to come into your life (an individual/mentor or group).

-Join a small group. If you can’t find one, start one.

-Don’t give in when the enemy tries to convince you to keep it a secret (whatever IT is) because he will. He’s a liar and doesn’t want you moving closer to God.

-Don’t allow your feelings to lead the way. Obedience to God’s word will not lead you astray (be doers of the word and not just hearers- James 1:22).

You’d be surprised how many others relate and share in your suffering. It only takes one person’s vulnerability to create an environment of safety and connection.

What is one thing you can do today to move towards the light?

Attitude, Mental Health, Support, Thought Life

Ways To Refocus Our Minds On God

My peace starts dissipating as I watch the news. My focus on the ever-flipping changes in the world incites worry and doubt. If I don’t switch modes, my thoughts will spiral down a road of hopelessness.

If you’ve lived in this world over the past year, you’ve likely experienced some of the following;

Isolation

Loneliness

Depression

Anxiety/Worry

Insecurity (as a nation)

Doubt

Whatever your experience has been, I’d like to validate it. It’s been a challenging year!

This is why we need to be diligent in refocusing our minds. Remembering, that as believers, even though we live IN the world, we are called not to be OF it.

How do we do this?

By focusing on the NEVER-changing Word of God.

Let’s talk about Ephesians 4:21-24

“Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God-truly righteous and holy.” 

This passage gives valuable information on how we can refocus our attention on God.

I highlighted some “power” words in the passage because they speak to what WE ought to be doing. Our relationship with God is a two-way street, which means that we have a responsibility to make these things work.

21: We have HEARD the Gospel = We KNOW what it says. 

21 -22: We have LEARNED that truth comes from God = You no longer have to live like you used to (old nature; worry, doubt, trusting in the ways of the world). His ways are now our ways.

23: LET the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes = DON’T conform to the ways of the world. You have the Holy Spirit within you and that power WILL help align your thoughts and attitudes with Gods (because it’s his will for you)

24: PUT on your new nature = Choose God’s way of living in the world.

Okay, but what does this look practically?

  1. Staying in the Word. Knowing what it says. If you’re struggling with something specific (i.e., loneliness, anxiety), read and memorize passages that speak about these things.
  2. Allocating specific times to watch the news and engage on social media. Then shutting it down.
  3. Reminding yourself that your thoughts and feelings are not truth.
  4. Actively seeking a support system of like-minded individuals to hold you accountable to the safe-guards you set in place.

We need to SEEK & CHOOSE his Kingdom every day so that the world we live in doesn’t take us down, because it will.

What is one thing you can do today to refocus your attention on God?

Support, Uncategorized

What Burden Are You Carrying on Your Own?

God chose Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, through the wilderness, and into the Holy Land.

In Numbers 11, we witness Moses’ frustration with the burden of responsibility for God’s people. The Israelites are constantly whining about circumstances, and God’s frustration towards them continues increasing. Moses is the middleman between God and the people, and it becomes too much for him to bear.

What does Moses do?

He cries out to the Lord, telling Him that it’s all too much for him.

How does God respond? Does He tell Moses to grin and bear it? No, God hears Moses and instructs him to find 70 leaders to help care for His people.

How often do we feel the need to carry our burdens alone? Pride holds us back from asking for help. We “should” be able to deal with (fill in the blank), especially if God has called us to the task at hand.

But, the truth is,

We were never meant to carry these burdens on our own.

What burden have you been carrying? What are some ways you can lighten the load?

Mental Health, Support

#Music

Music has always played a huge role in my life. It’s been my therapist, friend, anger management outlet, and more.

When unable to put feelings into words, this song acted as my translator:

Music Puts The Pieces Together

This song reminds me that I can’t do this life on my own, nor do I need to:

What songs have played a big part in your past and present?

Mental Health, Support

Mangled Mind

Yesterday was a rough day. I found myself connecting more with the mangled than the masterpiece.

I was involved in a battle, a spiritual one. It was like an arm-wrestling match between lies and truth. The truth kept me in the game, but the lies were strong.

What did this look like?

Unhealthy thoughts, insecurities, and anxiety.

What did I do?

  • I shared it with my women’s group. I know full well that when I keep this stuff in the dark, the enemy feeds on it. I felt extremely vulnerable after sharing BUT my desire to live in the freedom that Jesus has given trumps all else.
  • I went to a pool party/bible study. I forced myself to go when all I wanted to do was isolate. I knew if I went with a servants heart, I’d feel better. A good time was had, AND as usual, God provided the exact words I needed to hear through a fellow believer’s reading of Scripture. He is such a personal God.

Through this situation, I learned something (always growing and learning); My pride is still alive and kicking, and I may not be as humble as I thought.

On most days the truth can slam lies down with little effort. What I need to do is remain close to the Source and stay away from things that don’t serve me well.

I am a work in progress, who is dearly loved.

What keeps you grounded in the truth?

Drugs, Mental Health, Support

I Want To Get High

I’ve seen many anti-drug commercials, but one stood out to me the most.

Three teenage boys sit on a couch. They are not in jail, haven’t been in a car accident, and are not dead. Fast forward to the future. They haven’t moved. They sit on the same couch. Even though the consequences don’t seem severe they are not living up to their full potential.

I can’t help but wonder about these boys. Why were they choosing to confine themselves to a couch instead of experiencing life?

I then realized, I chose that very same path.

They are not living up to their full potential

Like a warm blanket, drugs covered my insecurity and anxiety. Numbing my worries and temporarily blocking problems from my consciousness.

Eventually, the drugs started to feel more like a wet blanket. My insecurities worsened and I began to isolate. I’d sit watching television for hours at a time, sometimes days. The depression and anxiety following the come down was terrible-so I’d stay high, and the cycle repeated.

I wasn’t living life to my fullest potential. I knew this, even with all the discomfort and chaos happening internally.

But knowing and doing are two separate things.

I eventually got clean and sober. At the age of 27.

My emotional maturity level was that of a teenager, the same age I started using. Drugs had been my primary coping method for so long. I now had to learn to deal with life and feelings.

With the help of 12 step meetings, therapy, doctors, friends, family, and God, I started down this road of mental healthiness (I think I just made that up).

I dealt with what I needed to and in the process discovered purpose and passions I never knew I had.

I eventually got clean and sober

If I kept numbing myself I might still be on that same couch today (probably a newer couch, but you get the point) or worse. I wouldn’t be living for what I have been purposed for.

Each one of us is created with gifts and talents. Every. Single. One.

If you are under the influence and reading this, you were created for a purpose.

If you are anxious, depressed, angry, hurt, manic and everything else in between, you were created for a purpose.

Whoever you are, you were created for a purpose.

What’s getting in the way of reaching your full potential?