Category: Mental Health

Dependence on God, Drugs, Mental Health, Support, The Holidays, Uncategorized

Don’t White Knuckle Sobriety During The Holidays. Plan Ahead With These 5 Tips.

Jaime

Tempted to drink during the holidays? Try these 5 practical steps to stay sober.

๐Ÿ. ๐’๐ก๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฌ๐จ๐›๐ž๐ซ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž๐จ๐ง๐ž ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐›๐ž ๐š๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ ๐š๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐  (for accountability purposes).

It might be awkward, but necessary if you’re serious about it. It’s easy to plan on not drinking when we’re not yet in the situation, but much harder while in the moment.

๐Ÿ. ๐Š๐ž๐ž๐ฉ ๐š ๐ง๐จ๐ง-๐š๐ฅ๐œ๐จ๐ก๐จ๐ฅ๐ข๐œ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ค ๐ข๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ก๐š๐ง๐ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ง๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ. You will actively be drinking something and feel less self-conscious around others.

Heck, drink beverages in fancy cups. “I’ll have a Shirley Temple in a wine glass, please.”

๐Ÿ‘. ๐…๐ข๐ง๐ ๐š ๐๐ž๐ฌ๐ข๐ ๐ง๐š๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐š๐œ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐š๐œ๐ž ๐š๐ฌ ๐ง๐ž๐ž๐๐ž๐. The bathroom works. Lock that door, throw water on your face, look in the mirror, and say, “You can do this, God, please help me do this.”

๐Ÿ’. ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐œ๐š๐ง๐๐ฒ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ, ๐จ๐ซ ๐ž๐š๐ญ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ง๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌโ€”๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐š๐œ๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ค๐ž๐ž๐ฉ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ก ๐›๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฒ. It will help curb those other fixations that go along with the habit.

๐Ÿ“. ๐‹๐ž๐š๐ฏ๐ž.

It’s not the most convenient thing to do, and you might get crap for it, but your true family and friends will understand. Hit a 12-step meeting, call your sponsor (if you have one), or someone else who gets it.

And remember, be gentle with yourself. After all, you ARE your own worst enemy. Take it one moment at a time.

Depression, Hormones, Identity, Thought Life, Uncategorized

3 Ways The Enemy Attacks Our Identity During The Already Dreadful Time Of PMS, And How To Deal With It.

Jaime

PMS sucks. The rage, anxiety, irritability, and depression can take you down. As if that’s not enough, we have the added layer of feeling terrible about ourselves for what we’ve said or done during this time in our cycle. This is where the enemy gets a foothold.

Self-Deprecation

Our inner critic sneaks up on us, starting with a whisper and getting louder through the day. Your attitude spirals into a negative space, especially about yourself.

“Nice move, idiot. Why did you say that? Why did you do that? What were you thinking?”

Shame 

After a meltdown or explosion of emotions (usually towards the people you love most), you don’t just feel bad about your actions but about who you are as a person, leading to “I am” statements: 

“I am terrible. I am a disappointment. I am worthless.”

Guilt

Not attacking your personhood but continuously reminding yourself of what you’ve said and doneโ€”difficulties forgiving yourself even after others have already forgiven you. 

“Remember what happened yesterday? Remember how you freaked out? Remember how you thought you were a “good Christian” but acted demon-possessed?”

All the tactics above involve how we think and talk to ourselves, and it’s during these vulnerable times when we are most at risk for spiritual attack.

Here are some proactive tips to plan for that fun time of the month:

Track your cycle

I used to get caught off guard when my mind would go south, but once I started tracking my cycle, I could anticipate this vulnerable time and plan ahead. They have all sorts of apps for this, or you can follow it on your Google calendar, which I do.

Be aware of the company you keep

The people in our lives can trigger certain feelings about ourselves. Surround yourself with positive, encouraging people who speak life over you. Hang with the negative Nancy’s another time.

Fill Your Mind with Truth

-Read the word

-Listen to worship music or Christian podcasts

-Watch sermons 

Proactively doing these things will keep your mind focused so you know it’s not the truth when your thoughts, emotions, or the enemy spit lies at you.

Why does this matter?

The enemy wants nothing more than to convince us that we are not who God says we are. But, we need to understand that nothing (our actions, words, explosions, meltdowns, feelings, thoughts, or what anyone else says about you) will EVER change that. 

Our Part is:

-To acknowledge our humanity. 

-Ask for forgiveness when we mess up.

-Accept the gift of grace we’ve been given. Jesus’ death on the cross solidifies our identity, which means we are forever Daughters of the King.

What do you struggle most with during PMS, and what steps will you incorporate during your next cycle?

Dependence on God, Identity, Support

Why Do We Suffer Alone?

Jaime

After church on Sunday, I stayed for prayer. I was struggling. After praying with a sister in Christ, we started chatting. She, too, suffers like I do. We discussed how easy it is to talk about the minor, everyday transgressions but not the deep, dark stuff. The stuff that keeps us enslaved, preventing us from living in the freedom Jesus provided. 

So, why IS it so hard to talk about these things?

Fear

Fear of judgment

Fear of embarrassment

Fear of not being accepted

If anyone ever knew_____ then_____ (fill in the blanks).

We are called to confess our sins and pray for each other that we may be healed (James 5:16), yet we still fear what others will think about us. Your feelings are legit. We are human and DO have opinions and feelings about situations and behaviors we are unfamiliar with. And, we need to put our fleshly biases aside and be open to hearing people’s stories, walking alongside them, even if/when we don’t understand.

Sins kept in the darkness result in decay, isolation, shame, and guilt. All things Jesus died for. When we expose them to the light, they begin to lose their power (Romans 6:18).

Where do we start?

God

-Repent and thank HIM for the forgiveness already given through Jesus’ sacrifice.

-Ask God to give you the courage to expose your “stuff” to the light. Stop relying on yourself and ask for help. 

-Pray for trustworthy, faith-filled, walking-the-walk-type individuals to come into your life (an individual/mentor or group).

-Join a small group. If you can’t find one, start one.

-Don’t give in when the enemy tries to convince you to keep it a secret (whatever IT is) because he will. He’s a liar and doesn’t want you moving closer to God.

-Don’t allow your feelings to lead the way. Obedience to God’s word will not lead you astray (be doers of the word and not just hearers- James 1:22).

You’d be surprised how many others relate and share in your suffering. It only takes one person’s vulnerability to create an environment of safety and connection.

What is one thing you can do today to move towards the light?

Attitude, Mental Health, Support, Thought Life

Ways To Refocus Our Minds On God

Jaime

My peace starts dissipating as I watch the news. My focus on the ever-flipping changes in the world incites worry and doubt. If I don’t switch modes, my thoughts will spiral down a road of hopelessness.

If you’ve lived in this world over the past year, you’ve likely experienced some of the following;

Isolation

Loneliness

Depression

Anxiety/Worry

Insecurity (as a nation)

Doubt

Whatever your experience has been, I’d like to validate it. It’s been a challenging year!

This is why we need to be diligent in refocusing our minds. Remembering, that as believers, even though we live IN the world, we are called not to be OF it.

How do we do this?

By focusing on the NEVER-changing Word of God.

Let’s talk about Ephesians 4:21-24

“Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God-truly righteous and holy.”ย 

This passage gives valuable information on how we can refocus our attention on God.

I highlighted some “power” words in the passage because they speak to what WE ought to be doing. Our relationship with God is a two-way street, which means that we have a responsibility to make these things work.

21: We have HEARD the Gospel = We KNOW what it says.ย 

21 -22: We have LEARNED that truth comes from God = You no longer have to live like you used to (old nature; worry, doubt, trusting in the ways of the world). His ways are now our ways.

23: LET the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes = DON’T conform to the ways of the world. You have the Holy Spirit within you and that power WILL help align your thoughts and attitudes with Gods (because it’s his will for you)

24: PUT on your new nature = Choose God’s way of living in the world.

Okay, but what does this look practically?

  1. Staying in the Word. Knowing what it says. If you’re struggling with something specific (i.e., loneliness, anxiety), read and memorize passages that speak about these things.
  2. Allocating specific times to watch the news and engage on social media. Then shutting it down.
  3. Reminding yourself that your thoughts and feelings are not truth.
  4. Actively seeking a support system of like-minded individuals to hold you accountable to the safe-guards you set in place.

We need to SEEK & CHOOSE his Kingdom every day so that the world we live in doesn’t take us down, because it will.

What is one thing you can do today to refocus your attention on God?

Support, Uncategorized

What Burden Are You Carrying on Your Own?

Jaime

God chose Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, through the wilderness, and into the Holy Land.

In Numbers 11, we witness Moses’ frustration with the burden of responsibility for God’s people. The Israelites are constantly whining about circumstances, and God’s frustration towards them continues increasing. Moses is the middleman between God and the people, and it becomes too much for him to bear.

What does Moses do?

He cries out to the Lord, telling Him that it’s all too much for him.

How does God respond? Does He tell Moses to grin and bear it? No, God hears Moses and instructs him to find 70 leaders to help care for His people.

How often do we feel the need to carry our burdens alone? Pride holds us back from asking for help. We “should” be able to deal with (fill in the blank), especially if God has called us to the task at hand.

But, the truth is,

We were never meant to carry these burdens on our own.

What burden have you been carrying? What are some ways you can lighten the load?

Dependence on God, Mental Health, Thought Life, Uncategorized

How To Cope During Times Of Uncertainty

Jaime

I have never been one to handle uncertainty well.

When my youngest son came down with RSV (a respiratory virus), it was one of the scariest times of my life. He went from being a healthy three-month-old to almost being placed on a ventilator. I had no control over the situation. During a time that was already stressful, I was adding fuel to the fire by allowing my thoughts to run free.

When stressful events happen, we tend to play out scenarios in our heads. Here are some ways we do so;

“What If” thinking:
Ruminating all possible outcomes of a situation (i.e., what if my baby is brain-damaged, what if I had brought him in sooner)?

Predicting/Assuming:
Thinking that you know what will happen in a specific situation
(i.e., he’s going to have respiratory issues forever).

Catastrophizing:
Thinking the worst
(i.e., my baby is going to die).

These are the mechanisms we use as an attempt to control situations that are beyond our control. The two culprits driving our thoughts? Fear and Anxiety. Unfortunately, these ways of thinking often cause us to behave or react in ways that aren’t always helpful to us or those around us, yet, they are normal human responses.

The good news; we don’t have to camp in these thought patterns. We can train our minds to think differently. Here are some examples;

“What If”

“What if my son is brain-damaged?”
Response: “God will give you the strength to deal with it.”

Predicting/Assuming;
“I just know he’s going to suffer from respiratory issues from this day forward.”
Response: “And, if he does – like everything else in our life – we will deal with it and educate him on how to deal with it.”

Catastrophizing;
“He’s going to die.”
Response: “No matter the outcome, I trust God. He knows and sees the entire picture. I can do anything with Him by my side.

What is your go-to way of thinking during times of uncertainty?

Mental Health, Suicide

Scars & Stains

Jaime

Sometimes, when I’m struggling to express myself, I write poetry. Here’s something I wrote in light of suicide awareness month. It’s a dialogue between an influencer on social media and one of their followers.

You never know the impact you can have on someone’s life.

Follower:

I see you on Snapchat
Your Instagrams lit
I got mad respect
For the lyrics you spit

I wish I could do that
Put words to the pain
Release all my troubles
Like a downpour of rain

But I hold it all in
And I act like it’s fine
But I can’t anymore
I’m all set to resign

Influencer:

I’m glad you reached out
I’ve been where you’re at
The struggle is real
I’d get support stat

Our thoughts hold us captive
Eyes blinded by pain
Can’t see through the darkness
Of scarring and stains

I’m a straight-up survivor
I’ve walked through that door
My pride kept it hidden
My life, I endured

But I stand here today
With a purposeful mission
By the grace of our God
Not of my own volition

I affirm your existence
You are not a mistake
You are here for a reason
Even though your heart aches

Please sleep on it, bro
And let these words brew
But know that I’m listening
And I’m praying for you

Follower:

;

How can your past suffering give someone hope today?

Anxiety Series

Prepare For Battle – Day 5

Jaime

Today we develop our battle plan.

1 Peter 5:8 tells us to be alert and of sober mind. We have been doing this by becoming aware of how anxiety affects us and the ways we respond do it.

Strategy #1 Awareness

Know Your Weaknesses
-temptations (i.e., worry)
-desire (i.e., fix things on your own)
-response (i.e., panic)

Know The Enemy Of God
-mission/goal (i.e., separate us from God)
-how the enemy works (i.e., division, hatred)

Know Who God Is
-His attributes
-His promises
-His faithfulness

Know Who You Are
-chosen
-protected
-empowered
-victorious

Our second strategy comes from Ephesians 6:11, telling us to put on the armor of God. The moment we turned our lives over to God is the moment we received our armor. Unfortunately, many of us forgot to put it on.

Strategy #2 Put On Your Armor, And Keep It On!

Know Gods Word
-read it daily
-truth vs. lies
-test all thoughts against God’s Word, if they are not in alignment with what He says about you, kick them to the curb.

Prayer
-pray boldly in the name of Jesus
-pray God’s attributes and who you are in Him
-proclaim His promises and the victory that is yours
-pray for strength and power

Choice
-obedience over desires
-believe what God’s Word says over thoughts and feelings
-faith over fear

Remember
-the battle has already been won
-we stand in victory

This battle was never meant to be ours alone.

When we choose to partner with God, we are a force to be reckoned with.

Are you ready for battle?

Anxiety Series

Prepare For Battle – Day 4

Jaime

In order to prepare for battle, we need to know what we are fighting against.

My desires led to living a selfish life. The words I spoke over my life were those of defeat and degradation. The lies that I believed about myself created my reality, telling me I wasn’t good enough. Temptations caused me to do things that weren’t good for me. I made many decisions that hurt myself and others.

I have always been my own worst enemy.

Enemy #1 Ourselves

My worldview has helped me to understand that there is also a spiritual battle happening, one between good and evil. While researching this topic I came across a “job description” that I thought was quite fitting. “The enemy is like a prosecuting attorney, calling attention to the unworthiness of mankind, collecting evidence to prove cases (source unknown).”

Now that we know the mission of the enemy, we need to know what to look for;

rebellion
distortion
darkness
disorder
chaos
death
stealing
destruction

How does the enemy work? Mostly behind the scenes.

hatred
division
temptation
lies
deception
working through our weaknesses

Enemy #2: The Accuser

Peter 5:8 says, “Your enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

Now that we know what we are fighting against, we can develop our battle plan.

In what areas are you vulnerable to attack?

Anxiety Series

Prepare For Battle – Day 3

Jaime

Has your anxiety ever caused you to feel so physically and mentally uncomfortable, you just wanted to shed your skin?

I hated that feeling. I would do anything to make those feelings go away, so much so that I ended up becoming my very own doctor, self-medicating with drugs and alcohol.

These substances provided an illusioned vacation. Unfortunately, when the drugs wore off, my anxiety would be waiting for me, holding up a “welcome back” sign, excited to re-engage. Numbing my symptoms only made them worse.

I am a natural reactor, I’ve always been, BUT, over time I’ve learned to respond to things (like my anxiety) rather than react. Hallelujah, there’s hope for everybody!

We’re not always able to control when anxiety hits, but we can control the way we respond to it.

How do you react or respond to anxiety?