Category: Attitude

Attitude, Mental Health, Support, Thought Life

Ways To Refocus Our Minds On God

Jaime

My peace starts dissipating as I watch the news. My focus on the ever-flipping changes in the world incites worry and doubt. If I don’t switch modes, my thoughts will spiral down a road of hopelessness.

If you’ve lived in this world over the past year, you’ve likely experienced some of the following;

Isolation

Loneliness

Depression

Anxiety/Worry

Insecurity (as a nation)

Doubt

Whatever your experience has been, I’d like to validate it. It’s been a challenging year!

This is why we need to be diligent in refocusing our minds. Remembering, that as believers, even though we live IN the world, we are called not to be OF it.

How do we do this?

By focusing on the NEVER-changing Word of God.

Let’s talk about Ephesians 4:21-24

“Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God-truly righteous and holy.” 

This passage gives valuable information on how we can refocus our attention on God.

I highlighted some “power” words in the passage because they speak to what WE ought to be doing. Our relationship with God is a two-way street, which means that we have a responsibility to make these things work.

21: We have HEARD the Gospel = We KNOW what it says. 

21 -22: We have LEARNED that truth comes from God = You no longer have to live like you used to (old nature; worry, doubt, trusting in the ways of the world). His ways are now our ways.

23: LET the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes = DON’T conform to the ways of the world. You have the Holy Spirit within you and that power WILL help align your thoughts and attitudes with Gods (because it’s his will for you)

24: PUT on your new nature = Choose God’s way of living in the world.

Okay, but what does this look practically?

  1. Staying in the Word. Knowing what it says. If you’re struggling with something specific (i.e., loneliness, anxiety), read and memorize passages that speak about these things.
  2. Allocating specific times to watch the news and engage on social media. Then shutting it down.
  3. Reminding yourself that your thoughts and feelings are not truth.
  4. Actively seeking a support system of like-minded individuals to hold you accountable to the safe-guards you set in place.

We need to SEEK & CHOOSE his Kingdom every day so that the world we live in doesn’t take us down, because it will.

What is one thing you can do today to refocus your attention on God?

Attitude, Thought Life

How To Persevere When Discouraged

Jaime

It’s hard to persevere when you’re not getting the results you had hoped for.

I’ve been writing for a while now. My goals have shifted more than once over the years (aspiring author, speaker, life coach), but, at this point, I kind of expected to be further along than I am, which can be discouraging at times.

I get caught up in the number game; followers, engagements, likes, and any other validation around being an influencer. I start comparing my brand aesthetics and overall content with other bloggers who are more “popular.” It can easily lead me to question my purpose.

We set goals with the intention of meeting them. When we realize that we are not meeting them or that there might be a chance of failure, we think about throwing in the towel (or do). “Might as well opt out now before we fail for real.”

We need measurable goals to determine outcomes, and there may come a time when we need to concede (I’m so not there yet), but we also need to remember the “why” behind our goals and desires. Our why is our driving force.

I loathed myself for many years and spent so much time and energy searching for identity and wholeness. I don’t want ANYONE to ever feel this way about themselves. THIS is my why.

So tell me, what’s yours?

Attitude, Dependence on God

To Homeschool Or Not To Homeschool?

Jaime

I can’t begin to count the times I’ve said, “I’d never homeschool unless God called me to it.” Well, guess what?

I decided to homeschool my kids for the upcoming school year. I’ve been super proactive about it. I’ve done training’s, scoped out curriculum, started following mama’s on Instagram who homeschools their kids, all the things.

AND then, just the other day, my husband and I decided to place them in private school.

Initially, I was confused. I wondered why I had gone through the process of preparation when God already knew the outcome. I realize now, the process itself was, in fact, a personal process of fully surrendering my plans to Him.

You see, this was the first year that ALL of my kids were going to be in school full time. I’ve been looking forward to this day for years. Why? Because I want my time. Wanting my own time is not a bad thing, but God knows how deep my selfishness runs in this area.

I needed a priority check. I’ve felt a calling to women’s ministry for a while now, but I needed a reminder that my family is my first ministry. I’ve known this intellectually, but I never truly surrendered my heart and will, until now.

How has God flipped the script in your life?

Attitude, Dependence on God, Thought Life

Never Say Never

Jaime

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I could never __ “(fill in the blank)?

In a season of not being able to get pregnant, I watched a reality show about a woman going through in-vitro fertilization (IVF). At one point, she ended up in the hospital due to complications. I remember thinking, “I could never go through that. The mental and physical demands would kill me.”

Little did I know a few years later I’d be going through it, not once but four times! This is the moment where my “I could never” switched to “heck yeah I can!”

We set ourselves up for failure before even trying. Fears convince us of the impossibilities. Our feelings and thoughts attempt to rule our lives, but the truth is, they don’t have as much power as we give them credit for.

We CAN do hard things regardless of what our thoughts and feelings are communicating, especially when God has our back.

The next time you find yourself saying, “I could never…”

  1. Challenge it. Ask why?
  2. Take inventory – (remember the hard things you’ve done in the past).
  3. Flip It – (“I can do anything that God has called me to”).
  4. Fill your mind with truth – (read scriptures about overcoming fear and being strengthened in Christ).
  5. Support – (find people to encourage you along the way. Accountability will help you move forward)

What is your, “I could never?”

Attitude, Dependence on God, Mental Health, Thought Life

What If There Was More To Suffering Than Meets The Eye?

Jaime

Do you enjoy suffering? If you had three wishes, would they be pain, distress, and hardship? I’m not a mind reader, but I think the answer would be a hard NO.

If I had to explain my feelings about having a mental illness, I’d compare it to kale; I hate it, I don’t want it, it’s gross (in my opinion). Yet, it’s good for me (stay with me). AND if you blend it with some pineapple, yogurt, bananas, and honey, it’s not so bad.

Focusing on the suckiness of my illness kept me in dark places, but through reading God’s Word and studying the topic of suffering, my perspective started to shift. He revealed to me that there was a purpose behind the pain.

I am a strong-willed, stubborn girl, and God knows that. He knew which path would build my character and prepare me for his purposes. My suffering has not been wasted. God has transformed my afflictions into encouragement for others.

Even though I still wouldn’t raise my hand for more pain, I do understand that sometimes it takes pain to help us on the journey of becoming who we are meant to be.

After all, God is in the business of blending burdens into blessings.

How has the path of suffering served you or others?

Attitude, Thought Life

What If?

Jaime

I recently watched the movie “The Way Back.” A man struggling with alcoholism gets an opportunity to coach a boy’s basketball team, leading him on a path of recovery and healing.

The first part would have you believe that his addiction ruined his life, but as the story unfolds, you learn that one year prior, his 10-year-old son died of cancer.

“No wonder he’s drinking like he is,” I said to myself, my initial judgment switching to empathy.

First impressions are usually the tip of the iceberg. Our hurts, hang-ups, and baggage are what floats beneath the surface. There is a reason people are the way they are.

It’s unrealistic for us to get to know everyone’s story, but there is a way to incorporate empathy for others. Want to know how?

By asking the question, “what if?”

The next time you find yourself having an opinion about someone (we all do), ask yourself some questions:

What if her husband died in a car accident?

What if their dad used to beat them?

What if he was recently diagnosed with stage 4 cancer?

You get it, right?

Do you have any thoughts on what might help increase empathy towards others?

Attitude, Love, Uncategorized

Someone Else’s Shoes

Jaime

I recently watched the movie “Freaky Friday” (2003 version) with my daughter. A mother and daughter switch bodies after eating a magical fortune cookie, experiencing what it’s like to walk in the other’s shoes.

To switch back, they need to understand and empathize with the other.

As I remain quarantined in my house with family, toilet paper, food, and technology, I can’t help but think of those who don’t have these luxuries (never thought tp was a luxury, but now I do).

The population on my heart today are those in prison, specifically in isolation. I know there are reasons as to why they are in those situations, yet, I feel for them as fellow human beings.

We are all experiencing the realities of this crisis in different ways. My prayer is for us to remain grateful, keeping our eyes focused on God and how He wants to use us in this time of struggle.

Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.

John 13:35 NLT
Attitude, Thought Life

My Bad

Jaime

Do you know the verse in Romans where Paul speaks about not understanding himself? He wants to do what is right but doesn’t do it. Instead, he does what he hates (Romans 7:15).

I can relate.

It’s time to pick up the kiddos from school. I do so at the turnaround. Upon arrival, parked cars fill the circular driveway. I get in line, taking my place behind the last of the vehicles on the street.

The train of cars starts moving forward. All of a sudden, a car pulls in front of me, taking her place in line. “Seriously,” I mouth. Anger rises, yet I choose to practice what I do when someone cuts me off, giving them the benefit of the doubt;

“Maybe she’s late for an appointment OR, it might be her first time at the turnaround (which can be confusing if you’ve never been).” I let it go and continue inching up until I reach the driveway.

Once in the circle, you are encouraged to pull all the way up and around to speed up the pick-up process. Well, the same car stops near the curb in the middle of the circle. I decide to go around her (remembering it might be her first time), at which time she moves forward, giving me a dirty look for trying to pass her.

So, what did I do?

I threw my car in park, in the middle – of the middle – of the turnaround, hastily exiting my car to approach hers, to give her the 411 on how the process works. Long story short, she dissed me.

I took a deep breath, got back in my car, grabbed the kids, and left.

I don’t strive to be perfect, BUT I do strive to be respectful and loving towards others. So, to the lady at the turnaround, I want to apologize for coming at you like that.

I don’t want anger getting the best of me (yet it runs deep). Paul was right; the struggles between flesh and spirit are real.

What’s your experience been like between the flesh and spirit?

Attitude, Dependence on God

More You, Less Me

Jaime

I want this season to be different.

A few years back I decided to give up watching television for Lent. I wanted to sacrifice something that had meaning to me, so I did, and IT SUCKED!!!! Each day I was confronted with feelings of discomfort and irritability. I found myself counting the days until I was reunited with my friends behind the screen.

Instead of leaning into the lack – viewing this precious time as one of surrender and connection – I made it about my desires and feelings.

This year my focus has shifted. I am doing a study called “40 Days of Decrease” by Alicia Britt Chole. She encourages us to look at Lent as less of a project and more of a “temporary stay,” with the purpose of presence vs. productivity.

What does this look like?

  • Less of me, more of Him.
  • Less distraction – being present in my circumstances, especially the uncomfortable ones.
  • Fewer obligations, more softening of the heart.

What has been your experience around Lent?

Attitude, Love

What’s Your Love Language?

Jaime

My love language is “words of affirmation.” My husbands are “acts of service” and “physical touch.”

When he tells me I’m doing a good job (at whatever it may be), my tail starts to wag. I feel loved and appreciated. But if I affirm him with words, it doesn’t have the same effect. I’m not speaking his language.

Putting gas in his car, rolling out the trash, rubbing his back; these things make him feel loved. These are not unrealistic expectations, yet I struggle with them. I can be straight-up lazy, and I enjoy my own dance space.

When I don’t get what I need, I get crabby and start copping resentments. Then he gets annoyed because his needs aren’t being met. It’s a sucky self-centered cycle.

God usually steps in, renewing my mind to a perspective that is not self-seeking, but sacrificial. And you know what? When I choose to speak fluently in his language (even if I’m still not feeling it), I’m almost always blessed by it. I can’t really explain it, other than a supernatural feeling of contentment and joy.

Our greatest command is to love one another. Who better to practice on than the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

What is your love language?