Mental Health, Suicide

Scars & Stains

Sometimes, when I’m struggling to express myself, I write poetry. Here’s something I wrote in light of suicide awareness month. It’s a dialogue between an influencer on social media and one of their followers.

You never know the impact you can have on someone’s life.

Follower:

I see you on Snapchat
Your Instagrams lit
I got mad respect
For the lyrics you spit

I wish I could do that
Put words to the pain
Release all my troubles
Like a downpour of rain

But I hold it all in
And I act like it’s fine
But I can’t anymore
I’m all set to resign

Influencer:

I’m glad you reached out
I’ve been where you’re at
The struggle is real
I’d get support stat

Our thoughts hold us captive
Eyes blinded by pain
Can’t see through the darkness
Of scarring and stains

I’m a straight-up survivor
I’ve walked through that door
My pride kept it hidden
My life, I endured

But I stand here today
With a purposeful mission
By the grace of our God
Not of my own volition

I affirm your existence
You are not a mistake
You are here for a reason
Even though your heart aches

Please sleep on it, bro
And let these words brew
But know that I’m listening
And I’m praying for you

Follower:

;

How can your past suffering give someone hope today?

Mental Health, Suicide

Step Aside, Suicide

Once upon a time, there was a prison guard. His primary responsibility was making sure no inmates escaped.

Two men sit in prison. They were severely beaten and incarcerated because of the message they were preaching.

An earthquake shakes the foundation of the prison, causing all doors to open.

Assuming the prisoners escaped, the guard draws his sword, preparing to take his own life. BUT, before he could follow through, one of the inmates shout: “Stop, don’t do it. We are still here.”

The guard did not take his own life. He instead decided to accept the message provided by the two men. His life was forever changed.

This story can be found in Acts 16.

I wonder about this prison guard. What had his life been like? What would it have felt like to blow the one responsibility I had? Would I have known that the consequence for the guard not fulfilling his duties would most likely be death?

Out of all people to encourage this hopeless man, it was an inmate who was beaten, chained, and thrown in prison. Without him, the guard would be dead. Why did the prisoner choose to do this?

He was paying forward what had been given to him.

People are suffering.

It’s easy to judge and let our opinions run rampant when we haven’t been in someone else’s shoes and don’t understand the “why’s.”

What if we started asking more questions and getting to know people’s stories? What if we were increasingly vulnerable about our struggles, decreasing feelings of loneliness and isolation? What if we viewed every single person as a child of God?

What we say and do matters. The way we treat people matters.

Unworthy is a belief of many in despair. If they only knew how cherished and loved they were.

Let us be His hands and feet.

Raining In My Head
Dependence on God, Depression, Mental Health, Suicide

It’s Always Raining In My Head

I sit in a pit that’s dark and deep

My body bruised and bloody

It hurts too much even to weep

The ground is cold and muddy

I tuck my knees into my chest

Soothing myself by rocking

The pain of life that I digest

The door of death keeps knocking

My thoughts tell me that I’m no good

I’m damaged, bad, and broken

I’d change things if I felt I could

My destiny has spoken

My future filled with fear and dread

I’m just so sick of trying

It’s always raining in my head

I can’t stop thoughts of dying

I sit with you inside the pit

I’m right here by your side

Your mind can’t comprehend it

Through all those fears and lies

I hold you as you’re rocking

My heart breaks for your pain

These chains that need unlocking

My death was for your gain

Your thoughts do not define you

You rot in your own prison

You’ve been deceived and lied to

For this reason, I have risen

The future cannot harm you

When your life belongs to me

The clouds part to a sky thats blue

I ‘ve come to set you free

Below are some links to resources for anyone struggling with depression or any other mental health issues.


https://www.dbsalliance.org

https://www.nami.org