Category: The Holidays

The Holidays

Dealing With People Who Irk You During The Holidays With Purpose and Intention.

Jaime

We all have that one person (or more) who gets on our last nerve during holiday gatherings. Whether it’s due to family dynamics, different values, communication styles, or overall holiday pressures and expectations, they irk us. Once a year, for the greater good, we are expected to tolerate them.

What if we changed things up and didn’t just tolerate them but were purposefully present with meaningful engagement? You might think there is no way in **** I can do that, but I beg to differ.

Here are some strategies to use when peeps start getting under your skin:

Look at this person as an image bearer like you. Acknowledging human brokenness puts everyone on a level playing field and adjusts your perceptions of them. 

Be curious. We all have a personal story; get to know theirs. Even if you know them well, there might still be stuff going on in their lives you’re unaware of. Approaching them intentionally with active listening might help to lessen the annoyance and increase compassion. 

Serve them physically and emotionally. 

  • Ask if they need anything throughout the day/evening. If they have an empty cup, offer to refill it.
  • If they drink too much or say something stupid, give them grace. The previous step of getting to know them will hopefully change your attitude and approach to their behaviors.

Remember, we’ve been saved by grace that we didn’t deserve, so we, too, should shell out some grace, even when we don’t want to.

Prayer

God, let your Holy Spirit fill us this holiday season. Help us be purposeful and intentional in thought, speech, and action, extending grace to others, especially when not feeling it. Thank you for the grace you’ve given through your Son, Jesus. Amen!

To whom and in what way will you show grace this holiday season?

Dependence on God, Drugs, Mental Health, Support, The Holidays, Uncategorized

Don’t White Knuckle Sobriety During The Holidays. Plan Ahead With These 5 Tips.

Jaime

Tempted to drink during the holidays? Try these 5 practical steps to stay sober.

𝟏. 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 (for accountability purposes).

It might be awkward, but necessary if you’re serious about it. It’s easy to plan on not drinking when we’re not yet in the situation, but much harder while in the moment.

𝟐. 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. You will actively be drinking something and feel less self-conscious around others.

Heck, drink beverages in fancy cups. “I’ll have a Shirley Temple in a wine glass, please.”

𝟑. 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝. The bathroom works. Lock that door, throw water on your face, look in the mirror, and say, “You can do this, God, please help me do this.”

𝟒. 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐦, 𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐬—𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲. It will help curb those other fixations that go along with the habit.

𝟓. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞.

It’s not the most convenient thing to do, and you might get crap for it, but your true family and friends will understand. Hit a 12-step meeting, call your sponsor (if you have one), or someone else who gets it.

And remember, be gentle with yourself. After all, you ARE your own worst enemy. Take it one moment at a time.

The Holidays
Jaime

Limit Your Stress During The Holidays By Doing These 5 Things.

I get anxious around the Holidays, specifically around cooking. I am not the best cook, so I’m always scared that I am going to poison my guests. I am hosting Thanksgiving this year, and instead of stressing out, I decided to get an already-cooked turkey and ham. I also got canned cranberry sauce (I’m a fan of the can).

If you want to enjoy the holidays with less stress, here are some tips:

Get premade dishes
Not everything needs to be homemade, no matter what anyone else says, and who has enough space to cook all the things, anyway? It also helps so you don’t have to time all your dishes to be ready at once.

Don’t go crazy cleaning your house
It’s clean enough. People don’t notice the things you notice. I’ve allowed this chore to steal my joy, and you know what they say: a mama’s attitude can make or break things.

Decorate Minimally
I have fall decorations around the house (I can’t even begin to think of Christmas) and already know how I’m setting the table. I don’t have a fancy tablecloth or a dazzling centerpiece. Just two small pumpkins, and the table settings.

Don’t compare yourself with others
Social media will make you feel terrible about yourself. It’s such a comparison trap. Those posts might look pretty, but you have no clue what is happening behind the scenes. Focus on what’s important, the company you are with.

Don’t worry about what’s been done in the generations past
I know we think that we can do everything but it’s okay to acknowledge your limits and make new memories. Heck, eat Chinese Food and enjoy spending time with family.

What is one thing you can do this holiday season to lessen the stress?