It might be awkward, but necessary if you’re serious about it. It’s easy to plan on not drinking when we’re not yet in the situation, but much harder while in the moment.
𝟐. 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. You will actively be drinking something and feel less self-conscious around others.
Heck, drink beverages in fancy cups. “I’ll have a Shirley Temple in a wine glass, please.”
𝟑. 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝. The bathroom works. Lock that door, throw water on your face, look in the mirror, and say, “You can do this, God, please help me do this.”
𝟒. 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐦, 𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐬—𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲. It will help curb those other fixations that go along with the habit.
𝟓. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞.
It’s not the most convenient thing to do, and you might get crap for it, but your true family and friends will understand. Hit a 12-step meeting, call your sponsor (if you have one), or someone else who gets it.
And remember, be gentle with yourself. After all, you ARE your own worst enemy. Take it one moment at a time.
I know life is hard right now. All you can see is what’s here and now. There is so much more to come…
You are in the midst of an awkward phase (totally normal, btw). Don’t waste your time trying to fit in. Appreciate who you were created to be. Haters are going to hate. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Those who appear perfect, aren’t. What you see is not always what you get. You have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes. Be kind and compassionate. Don’t play the comparison game. We were all created with different gifts and strengths. Appreciate them and use yours wisely.
How you look doesn’t define you. I repeat, how you look doesn’t define you. Don’t internalize what the media or boys think are attractive. Focus on what the God of the universe says about you. One size doesn’t fit all.
Calm your hormones girl! I know how loud they are, but they do not need to rule over you. Learn your value as a young woman according to Gods Word. See his expectations of you through the lens of value vs. fear. You are so precious to him.
Don’t party so much. I know you think it’s fun, but there are going to be physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual consequences down the road.
Be nicer to mom and dad. They love you so much. They are not superheroes, but flawed human beings like the rest of us. Be respectful. They will be around for the long haul when many others won’t.
I know you think you have it all figured out, but you don’t. Life is going to take you on a ride. You are not the controller of the universe (even though you want to be).
And finally…
You are loved more than you can ever imagine.
P.S. It’s not all about you. The sooner you learn this, the better.
I’ve seen many anti-drug commercials, but one stood out to me the most.
Three teenage boys sit on a couch. They are not in jail, haven’t been in a car accident, and are not dead. Fast forward to the future. They haven’t moved. They sit on the same couch. Even though the consequences don’t seem severe they are not living up to their full potential.
I can’t help but wonder about these boys. Why were they choosing to confine themselves to a couch instead of experiencing life?
I then realized, I chose that very same path.
They are not living up to their full potential
Like a warm blanket, drugs covered my insecurity and anxiety. Numbing my worries and temporarily blocking problems from my consciousness.
Eventually, the drugs started to feel more like a wet blanket. My insecurities worsened and I began to isolate. I’d sit watching television for hours at a time, sometimes days. The depression and anxiety following the come down was terrible-so I’d stay high, and the cycle repeated.
I wasn’t living life to my fullest potential. I knew this, even with all the discomfort and chaos happening internally.
But knowing and doing are two separate things.
I eventually got clean and sober. At the age of 27.
My emotional maturity level was that of a teenager, the same age I started using. Drugs had been my primary coping method for so long. I now had to learn to deal with life and feelings.
With the help of 12 step meetings, therapy, doctors, friends, family, and God, I started down this road of mental healthiness (I think I just made that up).
I dealt with what I needed to and in the process discovered purpose and passions I never knew I had.
I eventually got clean and sober
If I kept numbing myself I might still be on that same couch today (probably a newer couch, but you get the point) or worse. I wouldn’t be living for what I have been purposed for.
Each one of us is created with gifts and talents. Every. Single. One.
If you are under the influence and reading this, you were created for a purpose.
If you are anxious, depressed, angry, hurt, manic and everything else in between, you were created for a purpose.
Whoever you are, you were created for a purpose.
What’s getting in the way of reaching your full potential?
This was first my experience with a Psychiatrist. I didn’t appreciate his frankness and besides that, he was wrong.
Years passed, and once again I found myself in a Psychiatrist’s office, but this time it was a different doctor. “You are bipolar,” he told me.
“Crap!”
Growing up I struggled with depression, anxiety, and anger. These three symptoms were besties. One was never present without the other, although much of the time one would lead the rest.
I knew I had issues but an official diagnosis freaked me out. I was now willing to hear it but accepting it was a whole different thing.
The doctor suggested medication, but I wasn’t ready. I was already self-medicating with my dear friends: drugs and alcohol. They had been around a long time.
I knew I had issues
It got to a point where my coping methods started working against me, taking my mental health to even more extreme highs and lows, so I chose to get clean and sober.
I no longer had my friends to console me and needed another way to manage my symptoms, so I became open to the possibility of taking legit medication.
I didn’t want this diagnosis
I didn’t want to be labeled.
I had a specific idea of how people with mental health issues looked. What I had seen was extreme. I wasn’t like “them.” I was a functional part of society. This mindset kept me stagnant, floating in the river of denial.
I started attending support groups through DBSA (Depression Bipolar Support Alliance). I never knew how broad the spectrum of mental health was. It was at these groups that I began to release the stigma I had attached to mental health.
I didn’t want to be labeled
Fellow Christians would tell me stories about God healing them of their depression. I’d walk away thinking, why them and not me God?
I believed God was more than capable of healing me, but that’s not part of my story.
Once I started to accept that this was something I’d struggle with throughout my life, my attitude started to change. Instead of asking for this “thing” to be taken away, I started praying that he would use it for His glory.
He has.
As I started sharing my experiences, others shared theirs. If it wasn’t them who struggled it was usually someone close to them.
God put people in my path for me to support and encourage when I was a complete trainwreck, reminding me that even at my lowest, He can use me.
I can’t even begin to count the times He’s provided comfort to me in the midst of it all. Sometimes it was a text from a friend; other times it was a song playing on the radio. Although, nothing beats my all-time favorite comfort tactic like my tattoo (Ephesians 2:10).
Why them and not me, God?
The struggle and pain that comes with life are real. Knowing that there might be a greater purpose than what my eyes can see encourages me to keep moving forward.
Having bipolar doesn’t define me, even though it tries to convince me otherwise. When my thoughts start attaching to this idea, God gently reminds me “You are who I say you are, my beautiful daughter.”
God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
If you are in need of some encouragement today, please listen to this song.
