Tag: expectations

Attitude, Love

What’s Your Love Language?

Jaime

My love language is “words of affirmation.” My husbands are “acts of service” and “physical touch.”

When he tells me I’m doing a good job (at whatever it may be), my tail starts to wag. I feel loved and appreciated. But if I affirm him with words, it doesn’t have the same effect. I’m not speaking his language.

Putting gas in his car, rolling out the trash, rubbing his back; these things make him feel loved. These are not unrealistic expectations, yet I struggle with them. I can be straight-up lazy, and I enjoy my own dance space.

When I don’t get what I need, I get crabby and start copping resentments. Then he gets annoyed because his needs aren’t being met. It’s a sucky self-centered cycle.

God usually steps in, renewing my mind to a perspective that is not self-seeking, but sacrificial. And you know what? When I choose to speak fluently in his language (even if I’m still not feeling it), I’m almost always blessed by it. I can’t really explain it, other than a supernatural feeling of contentment and joy.

Our greatest command is to love one another. Who better to practice on than the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

What is your love language?

Dependence on God

Dependence Day

Jaime

July 4th is a day often celebrated with barbecues, parades, and fireworks. Independence Day is something to celebrate. But this made me think… is there such a thing as too much independence?

I was so excited when I first moved to my very own apartment. I had my own space and didn’t have to answer to anyone. All decisions were mine to make. I was the controller of my life, Miss Independent.

I had an “I can do it myself” attitude, similar to a two-year-old.

This mindset led to massive amounts of pressure on myself. When unable to meet my monumental expectations, I’d melt into a muddy puddle on the floor.

I only have myself to depend on

Being fully independent wasn’t what I’d envisioned. So, I did what any 20 something would do; I went on a relationship hunt. Upon retrieving my prey, I’d quickly realize that others—like myself—couldn’t be depended on 100% of the time.

I now understand that all humans are flawed. We mess up. We let people down. It’s not always on purpose; it just comes with the territory. We are imperfect people.

This would’ve been discouraging if it ended there, but it didn’t.

I’ve heard lots of “Trust God, Have Faith” statements since hanging around the church. But if I can’t entirely depend on myself or others, what makes God trustworthy?

People let you down

His dependability became apparent as I studied His attributes:

He never changes, ever.

He is all-knowing.

He is faithful.

He has the full picture of my life from beginning to end. He sees what no one else can. Besides that, He has personally shown up during the difficult times and uncertainties in my life. He has proven his dependability—not just in my life—but in the lives of those who came before me. It’s scattered throughout His Word.

You can depend on God

I AM an independent woman. I’m still free to make my own choices and decisions. The difference now is I choose to pray for guidance before making them; I choose to do what’s right even if I’m not “feeling” it; I choose to give all outcomes to The One who is dependable.

What prevents you from fully depending on God?

Dependence on God

Arbor Day

Jaime

We all have our ways of dealing with the circumstances and struggles of life. I have not always handled these things well.

I have been a people pleaser and a bit of a perfectionist for most of my days, often defining myself by my roles and self-imposed expectations. I was strong and independent, yet, when life hit, it would knock me down, HARD. Relying on MY strength, I’d get back up just to get knocked down again.

And again…

I was a small bush that withered at any sign of drought or heat.

When life hit, it would knock me down, HARD.

Why were things affecting me like this?

It’s because I had no roots.

I still see myself as strong, but it doesn’t come from my efforts.

How did I make this shift?

I’d love to say that it was the moment I decided to have a relationship with Jesus, but it wasn’t. Even after, it took me a while to understand where my foundation started. It was through Gods Word that I established roots.

I still see myself as strong, but it doesn’t come from my own efforts.

I am no longer knocked down by the storms and circumstances of life. I stand upright with my roots digging deep into the source of my true identity. The wind might rustle my leaves, but I now stand firm.

Not only that, but my leaves remain green and vibrant throughout the seasons.

Where are you rooted when life’s circumstances come at you?