Drugs, Identity, Mental Health

Letter To My Junior High Self

Dear 12-Year-Old Me,

I know life is hard right now. All you can see is what’s here and now. There is so much more to come…

You are in the midst of an awkward phase (totally normal, btw). Don’t waste your time trying to fit in. Appreciate who you were created to be. Haters are going to hate. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

Those who appear perfect, aren’t. What you see is not always what you get. You have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes. Be kind and compassionate. Don’t play the comparison game. We were all created with different gifts and strengths. Appreciate them and use yours wisely.

How you look doesn’t define you. I repeat, how you look doesn’t define you. Don’t internalize what the media or boys think are attractive. Focus on what the God of the universe says about you. One size doesn’t fit all.

Calm your hormones girl! I know how loud they are, but they do not need to rule over you. Learn your value as a young woman according to Gods Word. See his expectations of you through the lens of value vs. fear. You are so precious to him.

Don’t party so much. I know you think it’s fun, but there are going to be physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual consequences down the road.

Be nicer to mom and dad. They love you so much. They are not superheroes, but flawed human beings like the rest of us. Be respectful. They will be around for the long haul when many others won’t.

I know you think you have it all figured out, but you don’t. Life is going to take you on a ride. You are not the controller of the universe (even though you want to be).

And finally…

You are loved more than you can ever imagine.

P.S. It’s not all about you. The sooner you learn this, the better.

Love,

Future Self

Identity

It’s My Body

Is there something in your life that you haven’t told anyone? Maybe you’ve been embarrassed or scared of what others might think, so you keep it to yourself.

Growing up, I convinced myself that my body was mine. I could do whatever I wanted with it, which was true.

It is.

I can.

I did.

Hormones and boys were not a good mix.

Justifying my actions became a skill. I never saw past my current season of life, let alone think about future consequences.

Fast forward to meeting Jesus in my late 20’s. I’m sitting in church, listening to a sermon on purity. All I could think was “FAIL.” The culmination of past decisions was starting to affect my self-image, along with my relationships. “I am what I’ve done,” guilt and shame would successfully convince me.

“I am what I’ve done”

Why would I want anything to do with this community if this was how I was going to feel?

Thankfully, I wasn’t left to sit in this pit of condemnation. God already knew everything I had done, and yet, he still loved me.

My old foes guilt and shame still try coordinating sneak attacks, but these days they are slain with the truth: Jesus died a horrible death so I can be free.

Jesus died a terrible death so I can be free

Free from labels

Free from lies

Free from condemnation

I still care what others think about me. Anxiety and fear still present themselves when I share my testimony. It’s all still there, but now I choose to embrace how God’s see’s me. His love for me outweighs all fear.

What’s that “something” in your life you’d like to be free from?