I have never been one to handle uncertainty well.
When my youngest son came down with RSV (a respiratory virus), it was one of the scariest times of my life. He went from being a healthy three-month-old to almost being placed on a ventilator. I had no control over the situation. During a time that was already stressful, I was adding fuel to the fire by allowing my thoughts to run free.
When stressful events happen, we tend to play out scenarios in our heads. Here are some ways we do so;
“What If” thinking:
Ruminating all possible outcomes of a situation (i.e., what if my baby is brain-damaged, what if I had brought him in sooner)?
Predicting/Assuming:
Thinking that you know what will happen in a specific situation
(i.e., he’s going to have respiratory issues forever).
Catastrophizing:
Thinking the worst
(i.e., my baby is going to die).
These are the mechanisms we use as an attempt to control situations that are beyond our control. The two culprits driving our thoughts? Fear and Anxiety. Unfortunately, these ways of thinking often cause us to behave or react in ways that aren’t always helpful to us or those around us, yet, they are normal human responses.
The good news; we don’t have to camp in these thought patterns. We can train our minds to think differently. Here are some examples;
“What If”
“What if my son is brain-damaged?”
Response: “God will give you the strength to deal with it.”
Predicting/Assuming;
“I just know he’s going to suffer from respiratory issues from this day forward.”
Response: “And, if he does – like everything else in our life – we will deal with it and educate him on how to deal with it.”
Catastrophizing;
“He’s going to die.”
Response: “No matter the outcome, I trust God. He knows and sees the entire picture. I can do anything with Him by my side.
What is your go-to way of thinking during times of uncertainty?