Attitude, Love, Thought Life

I Lust You

Love:

-an intense feeling of deep affection.

-a great interest and pleasure in something.

Lust:

– to have an intense sexual desire or need.

– an intense longing.

I’ve been “in lust” many times, often thinking it was love. All my lustful thoughts and feelings started with the phrase “I want.” Once I met the man who would eventually become my husband, the “I want” sentiment remained. Wasn’t there supposed to be a difference between the two?

Both definitions (received from Google and Merriam-Webster Dictionary) appear to be all about me. My desires, my needs, my interests, my pleasure.

No wonder my relationships didn’t work!

If my needs weren’t met, I’d leave. If I was no longer physically attracted to my partner, it was over (I was quite shallow and still can be). The interesting thing; the world encouraged this.

God flips the script, telling us that love is not self-serving, but quite the opposite. It’s about sacrifice and service. It’s not a feeling. It’s a choice. I have to choose my husband each day. Sometimes it’s a piece of cake, others, not so much.

When my feelings and thoughts communicate something different than the truth of God’s Word and His definition of love, I know it ain’t right. My part; commitment, willingness, selflessness (ouch), honesty, vulnerability, and last but not least, seeking love from the source Himself.

How do you know the difference between lust and love?

Mental Health, Thought Life

Compromised Mind

This past week it felt like someone tied me up, put tape over my mouth, and made me sit in a corner, forcing me to watch my life as a spectator.

When my mental health is compromised, I feel so disconnected from my life. One moment, I feel like a robotic sociopath, numbness permeating my entire being. The next, I feel like a raging lunatic, ready to take on whoever looks at me wrong. It makes no sense, but it feels real. 

It’s a straight-up battle in my mind.

Negative thoughts and false beliefs come with fists swinging. Luckily, I’m prepared. Armor blocks the unhealthy thoughts, the truth slaying them on the spot.

I still FEEL crappy.

The thoughts still come.

Yet, TRUTH keeps me grounded. My identity remains impenetrable.

What battles have challenged your identity?