Attitude, Thought Life

But I Want To

The food we eat affects our state of mind and overall health. In order to be fit and healthy, we need to eat well. I’ve realized over time that the same goes for my spiritual and emotional well being.

I started watching a new television series about the struggles of young adults. It has lots of explicit content.

I know what my own personal struggles and temptations are and often try to stay away from content that feeds the beasts. This show is not healthy for me to watch, yet I’m drawn to it.

The things we watch affect our minds and hearts

This is not a “though shall not” thing, more of a “this stuff seeps into my mind and heart” thing.

I’ve come to realize that my mind and heart are not always dependable when it comes to decision making. I can manipulate myself into thinking anything is right for me if I want to.

I am good at rationalizing things. For instance, I want to author books for young adults. I’d also like to mentor young women. This show could potentially help me to understand what it’s like to live as a young woman in this day and age. Therefore, its research. Boom!

I can’t undo the things I’ve seen and heard. They have played a part in my life in one way or another. Adding more length to the reel doesn’t serve me well…

But I want to watch it.

This is where I have to make a choice.

We can’t undo what we’ve seen

Will I submit to my fleshly desires and continue watching? Am I willing to accept the consequences? Do I want to regress to former ways of thinking and old patterns of behaviors?

I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do. I do know what’s best for me, but I don’t always choose that route.

What’s your “But I want to?”

Dependence on God

Arbor Day

We all have our ways of dealing with the circumstances and struggles of life. I have not always handled these things well.

I have been a people pleaser and a bit of a perfectionist for most of my days, often defining myself by my roles and self-imposed expectations. I was strong and independent, yet, when life hit, it would knock me down, HARD. Relying on MY strength, I’d get back up just to get knocked down again.

And again…

I was a small bush that withered at any sign of drought or heat.

When life hit, it would knock me down, HARD.

Why were things affecting me like this?

It’s because I had no roots.

I still see myself as strong, but it doesn’t come from my efforts.

How did I make this shift?

I’d love to say that it was the moment I decided to have a relationship with Jesus, but it wasn’t. Even after, it took me a while to understand where my foundation started. It was through Gods Word that I established roots.

I still see myself as strong, but it doesn’t come from my own efforts.

I am no longer knocked down by the storms and circumstances of life. I stand upright with my roots digging deep into the source of my true identity. The wind might rustle my leaves, but I now stand firm.

Not only that, but my leaves remain green and vibrant throughout the seasons.

Where are you rooted when life’s circumstances come at you?