Tag: hard

Drugs, Identity, Mental Health

Letter To My Junior High Self

Jaime

Dear 12-Year-Old Me,

I know life is hard right now. All you can see is what’s here and now. There is so much more to come…

You are in the midst of an awkward phase (totally normal, btw). Don’t waste your time trying to fit in. Appreciate who you were created to be. Haters are going to hate. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

Those who appear perfect, aren’t. What you see is not always what you get. You have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes. Be kind and compassionate. Don’t play the comparison game. We were all created with different gifts and strengths. Appreciate them and use yours wisely.

How you look doesn’t define you. I repeat, how you look doesn’t define you. Don’t internalize what the media or boys think are attractive. Focus on what the God of the universe says about you. One size doesn’t fit all.

Calm your hormones girl! I know how loud they are, but they do not need to rule over you. Learn your value as a young woman according to Gods Word. See his expectations of you through the lens of value vs. fear. You are so precious to him.

Don’t party so much. I know you think it’s fun, but there are going to be physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual consequences down the road.

Be nicer to mom and dad. They love you so much. They are not superheroes, but flawed human beings like the rest of us. Be respectful. They will be around for the long haul when many others won’t.

I know you think you have it all figured out, but you don’t. Life is going to take you on a ride. You are not the controller of the universe (even though you want to be).

And finally…

You are loved more than you can ever imagine.

P.S. It’s not all about you. The sooner you learn this, the better.

Love,

Future Self

Attitude

Never Satisfied

Jaime

Why is this so hard? I’d rather be doing something else. It’s too hot out.

This summer has been a challenging one. I find myself complaining a lot–often expressed through jokes and sarcasm. Regardless of how it’s packaged, it’s still complaining.

I have been discontent, and it shows through my words and attitude.

What I’m communicating through my grumbling is that God is not enough. I can say all day that I’m blessed and thankful, but my discontentment with circumstances and situations say differently.

I always want more. Things can still be a teensy bit better.

I can make all kinds of excuses as to why I grumble, but the truth is–I have an ungrateful heart.

The more I complain, the more I complain. My brain takes notes–keeping track of negative activity– and a new pattern of thinking develops.

I need to fill my mind and soul with gratitude. I want my brain to get the memo–we are switching it up to a more positive perspective. I can choose the words I speak over my life, but I need to be intentional about it.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.

Romans 12:2 NLT

I’ve been practicing mindfulness in this area. This is what it looks like:

Complaining

Gratitude

Why is this so hard?

I can do anything through Christ.

I’d rather be doing something else.

I am exactly where I need to be.

I’m too hot.

I have air conditioning (thank you, Lord).

What’s something you’ve been complaining about? How can you flip that complaint into gratitude? Please share in the comments so we can all be encouraged.

Attitude

Ouch, Said Accountability

Jaime

When someone criticizes me–even if it’s constructive–I can feel my walls going up, my heart putting on its protective gear.

But sometimes we need to hear this stuff, as hard as it may be.

Just the other day, I had a tough conversation with someone close to me. Some valid points were made and needed to be said, but I’ll admit–it hurt like hell to hear them.

My initial reaction was to defend myself, which I did for a bit. When our talk was over, I was left to choke on the feedback I had received. I can’t remember the last time I cried so hard.

I decided to go for a drive to process things. I was angry and confused. Was what they said true?

I called some friends for prayer AND because I knew they would co-sign my stuff. I wanted them to tell me that it was an exaggeration. I wanted them to tell me that is wasn’t true–but they didn’t answer.

In between sobs, the Word of God spoke to my heart through worship music. As painful as it was to fully engage with my feelings, I knew I was supposed to be in this exact place. I wasn’t meant to lean on or be comforted by anyone except for God.

What usually follows an episode like this is a big-old butt-kicking of my own doing and guilt for days. Instead, I felt this odd peace and conviction-not guilt-conviction. At that moment, I knew the feedback I had received was accurate. The messenger loved me enough to tell me the truth.

Sometimes the truth hurts, but we are called to hold each other accountable as brothers and sisters in Christ.

I chose to leave my pride at the cross and accept this as a growth opportunity. There was no booty kicking or guilt to speak of.

I know that God loves me as is, but I also know that He wants me to continue growing–and this was an opportunity to do so.

It’s in those times of deep sadness and pain that chains have been broken in my life. And in those times God has never left my side.

Who is helping you maintain accountability in your walk?