Tag: women

Mental Health

Mangled Mind

Jaime

Yesterday was a rough day. I found myself connecting more with the mangled than the masterpiece.

I was involved in a battle, a spiritual one. It was like an arm-wrestling match between lies and truth. The truth kept me in the game, but the lies were strong.

What did this look like?

Unhealthy thoughts, insecurities, and anxiety.

What did I do?

  • I shared it with my women’s group. I know full well that when I keep this stuff in the dark, the enemy feeds on it. I felt extremely vulnerable after sharing BUT my desire to live in the freedom that Jesus has given trumps all else.
  • I went to a pool party/bible study. I forced myself to go when all I wanted to do was isolate. I knew if I went with a servants heart, I’d feel better. A good time was had, AND as usual, God provided the exact words I needed to hear through a fellow believer’s reading of Scripture. He is such a personal God.

Through this situation, I learned something (always growing and learning); My pride is still alive and kicking, and I may not be as humble as I thought.

On most days the truth can slam lies down with little effort. What I need to do is remain close to the Source and stay away from things that don’t serve me well.

I am a work in progress, who is dearly loved.

What keeps you grounded in the truth?

Attitude, Thought Life

But I Want To

Jaime

The food we eat affects our state of mind and overall health. In order to be fit and healthy, we need to eat well. I’ve realized over time that the same goes for my spiritual and emotional well being.

I started watching a new television series about the struggles of young adults. It has lots of explicit content.

I know what my own personal struggles and temptations are and often try to stay away from content that feeds the beasts. This show is not healthy for me to watch, yet I’m drawn to it.

The things we watch affect our minds and hearts

This is not a “though shall not” thing, more of a “this stuff seeps into my mind and heart” thing.

I’ve come to realize that my mind and heart are not always dependable when it comes to decision making. I can manipulate myself into thinking anything is right for me if I want to.

I am good at rationalizing things. For instance, I want to author books for young adults. I’d also like to mentor young women. This show could potentially help me to understand what it’s like to live as a young woman in this day and age. Therefore, its research. Boom!

I can’t undo the things I’ve seen and heard. They have played a part in my life in one way or another. Adding more length to the reel doesn’t serve me well…

But I want to watch it.

This is where I have to make a choice.

We can’t undo what we’ve seen

Will I submit to my fleshly desires and continue watching? Am I willing to accept the consequences? Do I want to regress to former ways of thinking and old patterns of behaviors?

I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do. I do know what’s best for me, but I don’t always choose that route.

What’s your “But I want to?”