Author: Jaime

Jaime grew up in Queens, NY. She moved to California in her early 20's to pursue an MA in Psychology. After working in the mental health field for many years, she became a SAHM. Always having had a passion for people, Jaime now encourages others through writing and speaking.
Anxiety Series

Prepare For Battle – Day 1

Jaime

I’ve struggled with anxiety to varying degrees throughout my life. Once I became a Christian and began reading God’s Word, I realized how many passages addressed the issue of anxiety, telling me not to be anxious.

I understood that I wasn’t supposed to be anxious, but I still was, and where was the how-to section?

Some of us might have confided in our church family only to have been told;

  • You’re not trusting God
  • “Be anxious for nothing” or quoting other scriptures
  • You don’t need medication. God can heal you.
  • Pray harder

I honestly thought that something was wrong with me. I must be a “bad Christian.”

Over time I realized that nothing was wrong with me. I was human. God created us with a fight or flight response which tells me that anxiety is part of the human experience.

I want to draw your attention to Luke 22: 42-44. We see Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane. He knows what’s about to go down. This is his prayer;

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me, yet not my will, but yours be done. An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.”

Luke 22:42-44 NIV

Jesus is anxious. He is experiencing human emotions. In the midst of this, we witness his obedience and also get a glimpse of the spiritual tools that are available to help him cope. Those same tools are available to us.

We may never be free from anxiety (not in this lifetime, anyway), but partnering with God gives us the power to battle anxiety.

I think that’s worth repeating,

Partnering with God gives us the power to battle anxiety.

In what ways have you struggled with anxiety?

Mommy Moments

To Homeschool Or Not To Homeschool?

Jaime

I can’t begin to count the times I’ve said, “I’d never homeschool unless God called me to it.” Well, guess what?

I decided to homeschool my kids for the upcoming school year. I’ve been super proactive about it. I’ve done training’s, scoped out curriculum, started following mama’s on Instagram who homeschools their kids, all the things.

AND then, just the other day, my husband and I decided to place them in private school.

Initially, I was confused. I wondered why I had gone through the process of preparation when God already knew the outcome. I realize now, the process itself was, in fact, a personal process of fully surrendering my plans to Him.

You see, this was the first year that ALL of my kids were going to be in school full time. I’ve been looking forward to this day for years. Why? Because I want my time. Wanting my own time is not a bad thing, but God knows how deep my selfishness runs in this area.

I needed a priority check. I’ve felt a calling to women’s ministry for a while now, but I needed a reminder that my family is my first ministry. I’ve known this intellectually, but I never truly surrendered my heart and will, until now.

How has God flipped the script in your life?

Attitude, Dependence on God, Thought Life

Never Say Never

Jaime

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I could never __ “(fill in the blank)?

In a season of not being able to get pregnant, I watched a reality show about a woman going through in-vitro fertilization (IVF). At one point, she ended up in the hospital due to complications. I remember thinking, “I could never go through that. The mental and physical demands would kill me.”

Little did I know a few years later I’d be going through it, not once but four times! This is the moment where my “I could never” switched to “heck yeah I can!”

We set ourselves up for failure before even trying. Fears convince us of the impossibilities. Our feelings and thoughts attempt to rule our lives, but the truth is, they don’t have as much power as we give them credit for.

We CAN do hard things regardless of what our thoughts and feelings are communicating, especially when God has our back.

The next time you find yourself saying, “I could never…”

  1. Challenge it. Ask why?
  2. Take inventory – (remember the hard things you’ve done in the past).
  3. Flip It – (“I can do anything that God has called me to”).
  4. Fill your mind with truth – (read scriptures about overcoming fear and being strengthened in Christ).
  5. Support – (find people to encourage you along the way. Accountability will help you move forward)

What is your, “I could never?”

Mental Health

What If There Was More To Suffering Than Meets The Eye?

Jaime

Do you enjoy suffering? If you had three wishes, would they be pain, distress, and hardship? I’m not a mind reader, but I think the answer would be a hard NO.

If I had to explain my feelings about having a mental illness, I’d compare it to kale; I hate it, I don’t want it, it’s gross (in my opinion). Yet, it’s good for me (stay with me). AND if you blend it with some pineapple, yogurt, bananas, and honey, it’s not so bad.

Focusing on the suckiness of my illness kept me in dark places, but through reading God’s Word and studying the topic of suffering, my perspective started to shift. He revealed to me that there was a purpose behind the pain.

I am a strong-willed, stubborn girl, and God knows that. He knew which path would build my character and prepare me for his purposes. My suffering has not been wasted. God has transformed my afflictions into encouragement for others.

Even though I still wouldn’t raise my hand for more pain, I do understand that sometimes it takes pain to help us on the journey of becoming who we are meant to be.

After all, God is in the business of blending burdens into blessings.

How has the path of suffering served you or others?

Attitude, Thought Life

What If?

Jaime

I recently watched the movie “The Way Back.” A man struggling with alcoholism gets an opportunity to coach a boy’s basketball team, leading him on a path of recovery and healing.

The first part would have you believe that his addiction ruined his life, but as the story unfolds, you learn that one year prior, his 10-year-old son died of cancer.

“No wonder he’s drinking like he is,” I said to myself, my initial judgment switching to empathy.

First impressions are usually the tip of the iceberg. Our hurts, hang-ups, and baggage are what floats beneath the surface. There is a reason people are the way they are.

It’s unrealistic for us to get to know everyone’s story, but there is a way to incorporate empathy for others. Want to know how?

By asking the question, “what if?”

The next time you find yourself having an opinion about someone (we all do), ask yourself some questions:

What if her husband died in a car accident?

What if their dad used to beat them?

What if he was recently diagnosed with stage 4 cancer?

You get it, right?

Do you have any thoughts on what might help increase empathy towards others?

Uncategorized

Keeping It Light

Jaime

This week I’ve decided to write some fun facts about myself.

My First Job: Boston Market (I eventually got fired).

Worst Habit: Nail biting

A Movie I’ve Watched a Gazillion Times: Coyote Ugly (I owned the VHS, and when I moved from NY to CA, it provided comfort. Don’t judge me).

My Superpower Would Be: reading minds

Embarrassing Moment (one of many): While attending a party at Chuck E Cheese, a woman approached me as I piled food onto my plate. Long story short, I was at the wrong party.

My Latest Addiction: TikTok

I Would Love To Meet: Joyce Meyer. She has helped me improve my thought life while encouraging me not to live by my feelings. What a game-changer!

Something I’m Proud Of: Throwing a surprise 25th-anniversary party for my parents.

Favorite Comfort Food: Pasta

Greatest Struggle: Mental health

I Can’t Stand The Sound Of: Fingernails on a chalkboard

My Dream Job(s): Speaking, Writing, Coaching

Growing Up I Wanted To Be A: Singer/Actress

My Favorite Job: Working in a group home for mentally ill adults.

Piercings? Used to have navel, nose, and tongue.

Fear: Not being the mom I’ve been called to be.

Best Decision Ever Made: Surrendering my life to God.

Biggest Lesson: I am who God says I am.

Tell me a fun fact about you?

Attitude, Love, Uncategorized

Someone Else’s Shoes

Jaime

I recently watched the movie “Freaky Friday” (2003 version) with my daughter. A mother and daughter switch bodies after eating a magical fortune cookie, experiencing what it’s like to walk in the other’s shoes.

To switch back, they need to understand and empathize with the other.

As I remain quarantined in my house with family, toilet paper, food, and technology, I can’t help but think of those who don’t have these luxuries (never thought tp was a luxury, but now I do).

The population on my heart today are those in prison, specifically in isolation. I know there are reasons as to why they are in those situations, yet, I feel for them as fellow human beings.

We are all experiencing the realities of this crisis in different ways. My prayer is for us to remain grateful, keeping our eyes focused on God and how He wants to use us in this time of struggle.

Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.

John 13:35 NLT
Attitude, Thought Life

My Bad

Jaime

Do you know the verse in Romans where Paul speaks about not understanding himself? He wants to do what is right but doesn’t do it. Instead, he does what he hates (Romans 7:15).

I can relate.

It’s time to pick up the kiddos from school. I do so at the turnaround. Upon arrival, parked cars fill the circular driveway. I get in line, taking my place behind the last of the vehicles on the street.

The train of cars starts moving forward. All of a sudden, a car pulls in front of me, taking her place in line. “Seriously,” I mouth. Anger rises, yet I choose to practice what I do when someone cuts me off, giving them the benefit of the doubt;

“Maybe she’s late for an appointment OR, it might be her first time at the turnaround (which can be confusing if you’ve never been).” I let it go and continue inching up until I reach the driveway.

Once in the circle, you are encouraged to pull all the way up and around to speed up the pick-up process. Well, the same car stops near the curb in the middle of the circle. I decide to go around her (remembering it might be her first time), at which time she moves forward, giving me a dirty look for trying to pass her.

So, what did I do?

I threw my car in park, in the middle – of the middle – of the turnaround, hastily exiting my car to approach hers, to give her the 411 on how the process works. Long story short, she dissed me.

I took a deep breath, got back in my car, grabbed the kids, and left.

I don’t strive to be perfect, BUT I do strive to be respectful and loving towards others. So, to the lady at the turnaround, I want to apologize for coming at you like that.

I don’t want anger getting the best of me (yet it runs deep). Paul was right; the struggles between flesh and spirit are real.

What’s your experience been like between the flesh and spirit?

Mental Health

Dear Anxiety

Jaime

Dear Anxiety,

A lot is going on in the world right now. I can feel you lurking beneath the surface. It’s during these times when you awaken from hibernation.

I know you think you’re protecting me, but you’re not. The truth is, you make me nuts. Hanging out with you causes a physical reaction and an excavating of all rational thinking. You plant seeds of worry that grow into skyscrapers.

You’ve ruled my days, preventing me from enjoying the precious moments in life. You were my default for the big and little things. You advised my choices and influenced my reactions. You came at me hard after my daughter was born, making me believe she was going to die.

You’ve forced yourself upon me. I never felt like I had a choice, but now it’s different.

I’ve been training for battle. I’m heavily armed. My greatest weapon?

The Truth

Truth tells me that I no longer have to engage with you. I get to choose whether or not I accept your thoughts and feelings. Even when my breath is shallow and incessant thoughts circle my brain, I Get To Choose.

I acknowledge your presence, but you will no longer control me. My choice partnered with God’s power is indestructible. And even though you still exist, I know how the story ends.

Spoiler Alert: you don’t survive.

Attitude, Dependence on God

More You, Less Me

Jaime

I want this season to be different.

A few years back I decided to give up watching television for Lent. I wanted to sacrifice something that had meaning to me, so I did, and IT SUCKED!!!! Each day I was confronted with feelings of discomfort and irritability. I found myself counting the days until I was reunited with my friends behind the screen.

Instead of leaning into the lack – viewing this precious time as one of surrender and connection – I made it about my desires and feelings.

This year my focus has shifted. I am doing a study called “40 Days of Decrease” by Alicia Britt Chole. She encourages us to look at Lent as less of a project and more of a “temporary stay,” with the purpose of presence vs. productivity.

What does this look like?

  • Less of me, more of Him.
  • Less distraction – being present in my circumstances, especially the uncomfortable ones.
  • Fewer obligations, more softening of the heart.

What has been your experience around Lent?