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Drugs, Identity, Thought Life

Stand Tall

You messed up again

The cycle repeats

Your gut says to hide

Your mind screams defeat

Chock full of failure

You trip and you fall

His voice then reminds you

My daughter, stand tall

Your heart is broken

You thought it would last

He told you forever

But now its the past

You gave it away

You wait for his call

A song then reminds you

My daughter, stand tall

You said you were done

But you couldn’t resist

You love how it feels

A comfort you’ve missed

You had one month clean

Shame makes you feel small

You remember a verse

My daughter, stand tall

You cover it up

Your starting to doubt

You quickly forget

What the Gospel’s about

No matter the wrong

The truth trumps it all

Remember your father

My daughter, stand tall.

What failures or mistakes are you holding onto?

Uncategorized

Popping Bubbles

“Should I even be here?” The thought scurried through my mind upon arrival.

This past weekend I went to a concert/show with hubby. Loud music, laser lights, and colorful people filled the room. Puffs of smoke swirled above the main floor, while people danced to their heart’s content.

After settling into the atmosphere, my initial question turned into a definitive, Yes! Who better than someone who understands the culture and has been there and done that. Plus, I like electronic music. I prayed for God to use me throughout the evening while enjoying my night out.

In my current season of life, I spend most of my time engaging with people who share similar values. It’s comfortable. My activities, groups, and overall lifestyle centers around the culture in which I identify.

As Christians, we need to be part of a church community. Our faith strengthens as we grow spiritually and do life with others. Accountability is encouraged (hopefully) and welcome. Reading God’s Word, serving in the church and community; all of these are important.

But, we are called for more.

Be fisherman of men

Feed my sheep

Be the light

Go and make disciples

There is no cookie-cutter way of doing this. God uses our experiences and personalities to reach different people in all types of environments. While there are many ways to show love to others, the message of the Gospel remains the same.

We must burst our comfortable bubbles and go out into the world. Ultimately, we are responsible for spreading the love. Opportunities are everywhere.

How can you step out of your comfort zone today?

Identity, Thought Life

Happy Birthday

Did you know that God smiled the day you were born?

Some of you might not think this is true. You may have been told that you were a mistake.

Maybe you survived an abortion or were born addicted to drugs. You might have been an “oopsie baby” or a result of rape. Whatever the case, you were meant to be here. Not only that, but you are a blessing.

We allow others to tell us who we are or aren’t, engraving their words into our hearts as we walk around this world with our heads hanging low.

If you only knew…

How precious you are, intricately made by a powerful Father who does not make mistakes.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but someone does.

Babies are born every single day, so I know it’s someone’s birthday today: Whoever and wherever you are, Happy Birthday. Here’s to you my friend. It’s an honor to celebrate your life.

Now, blow out the candles!

Whose life can you help celebrate today?

Mommy Moments

Change The Lens

We typically view our parents/caregivers through a subjective lens.

As a child, my parents were superheroes. During my teenage years, they knew nothing. Once I reached adulthood, I went through a judgemental phase. I wondered about the choices they made and the “why’s” behind it.

No matter what my parents did, they were doomed. My experiences with them shaped who they were in my eyes.

A few years back, I interviewed my parents individually. I wanted to learn more about their backgrounds and experiences. I so appreciated their transparency and willingness to share themselves with me as they did. It was then that God whispered, “See my child; they are human, like you.” For the first time ever, I saw them as children of God. From that point on, I was able to love and accept them for who they were.

We all have flaws and baggage; some weigh heavier than others. Resentment and unforgiveness reside in our hearts. We drown in the memories of our past, not able to swim freely toward the future. But we don’t have to remain in these places.

The question is, how do we move forward?

  • Pray for a softening of the heart and the willingness to forgive. Ask God to see them through His eyes.
  • What’s their story? Ask them questions. If you are not comfortable with that, ask people who know/knew them.
  • And remember, they are broken people like you and me.

This doesn’t mean that whatever has happened to you is okay; it just means that you are choosing to let go of it and hand it over to God, so you can move forward. Don’t let your past define your future. You can be set free.

What steps can you take today to change your lens?

Identity, Thought Life

Move, Get Out The Way.

Do you ever find yourself getting in the way of your hopes and dreams?

A new relationship was on the horizon, but it ended before having a chance to blossom. The risk of getting your heart broken was too much to bear. A potential job opportunity presented itself, but you didn’t apply. The other applicants were more qualified.

Sometimes, our past experiences shape how we function in the present. Other times, our insecurities and doubts get the best of us. If my past relationship didn’t work out, why would this one? I’ve been rejected by three companies, why would this be any different?

When we let these things get in the way of our goals and plans, we are self-sabotaging.

If we dig deep, we find fear, distrust, and insecurity ingrained into our thinking. This affects our decision-making process. Unfortunately, the results are lost opportunities and blessings.

It’s normal to feel these things–so let’s not beat ourselves up for it–but we can feel certain ways and move through them (I know, not easy).

Pray for courage.

Trust in God’s plan for the situation.

Do it, anyway.

Listen to God’s voice and let Him guide you in all that you do.

Sure, there is a risk of heartbreak, but what if this is the person you are meant to spend your life with? Yes, there might be others more qualified than you, but then again, there might be something about you that stands out against the rest.

You won’t know unless you try. So, get out of your own way. And remember, the outcome doesn’t change who you are.

What are you standing in the way of?

Thought Life

Just A Thought

Our thoughts influence us more than we think.

During times of stress I’ve thought about driving far away from my family; starting over in a town where no one knows me. I’d be a server at a local restaurant. When done with my shifts, I’d go home to a quiet place with no responsibilities except for watching tv and eating ice cream.

Even though I’ve taken the time to think about this, I would never follow through with it. Or would I? After all, thinking about doing something and actually doing it are two different things, right?

My thoughts have great power over me. In many cases, they’ve created my reality. When I am focused on my needs and desires, my brain starts going down the road of “you deserve more, your happiness is most important.” I can easily feed into these things.

Our decisions don’t typically start with action, but with a thought. Recovering addicts will most likely tell you that relapse happened in their minds before ever using. Same goes for those who have been unfaithful. Lustful thoughts usually precede physical contact.

The more we think about, obsess, perseverate and mull over things, the more real they become.

As much as I’d like to say that these momentary thoughts of escapism are harmless, I have to be conscious not to entertain them. I know what I am capable of; therefore, I need to protect my mind, heart, and family.

“But we are human. We are not dead. We can’t shut our minds off.” All true.

And

We can choose to engage or disengage with our thoughts as they come up. They don’t have the authority to control us unless we let them.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn God’s will for you which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:2 NLT

Be mindful of each thought. Develop awareness of patterns of thinking. Be gentle with yourself. It’s a process.

Guest Blog Posts

Weights of the World

Recently, my boyfriend and I went to San Francisco to pick up our bibs for a race we were going to run. While meandering through the streets, I saw runner after runner with goals that were much more insane than the ones my 5K-running boyfriend and I had.

They were training for the SF Marathon (a 26.2-mile race!!). One athlete that stuck out to me was wearing a heavily weighted vest and a look that told me he’d been training for way too long. I mean, he looked exhausted. As he hustled on by I thought to myself, “Dang, that dude looks dead-tired. But he’s going to be so conditioned after this!” I knew those weights would help him become stronger even though at that moment he looked like he was going to pass out.

I often have this same view when looking at my own struggles. My battle with PTSD, depression, and sin may weigh me down, but I keep persisting because I know that carrying these burdens will only make me stronger. Can I get an “Amen!”? Right?? Well…


The other day the image of the running man came to mind. This image caught me at a time I was juggling the weight of the world on my shoulders. At that point, it didn’t feel like I was getting stronger, but weaker.

These burdens were so heavy and so present in my life.

They slowly chipped away at my soul and became a bigger part of my identity than the hope I found in Jesus’ name.

That’s when a little piece of realization hit me square in the face: The running dude wasn’t going to wear his vest forever. In order to increase his speed, he would eventually have to lay down his heavy cargo and continue his race without any extra burdens. This was a vital step in my journey that I was missing. To be honest, I thought that trying to lift all the heavy in my own heart would make me stronger, but what I was really doing was exercising my pride.

As we can see in Acts 12, miraculous freedom from our chains comes from the divine authority of God. So, persistence and endurance are definitely important for our faith, but ultimately we need to allow God to set us free from what keeps our hearts in chains so we can run our race, serve Jesus, and love the world.

What weights in your life do you need to lay down?

Mental Health, Suicide

Step Aside, Suicide

Once upon a time, there was a prison guard. His primary responsibility was making sure no inmates escaped.

Two men sit in prison. They were severely beaten and incarcerated because of the message they were preaching.

An earthquake shakes the foundation of the prison, causing all doors to open.

Assuming the prisoners escaped, the guard draws his sword, preparing to take his own life. BUT, before he could follow through, one of the inmates shout: “Stop, don’t do it. We are still here.”

The guard did not take his own life. He instead decided to accept the message provided by the two men. His life was forever changed.

This story can be found in Acts 16.

I wonder about this prison guard. What had his life been like? What would it have felt like to blow the one responsibility I had? Would I have known that the consequence for the guard not fulfilling his duties would most likely be death?

Out of all people to encourage this hopeless man, it was an inmate who was beaten, chained, and thrown in prison. Without him, the guard would be dead. Why did the prisoner choose to do this?

He was paying forward what had been given to him.

People are suffering.

It’s easy to judge and let our opinions run rampant when we haven’t been in someone else’s shoes and don’t understand the “why’s.”

What if we started asking more questions and getting to know people’s stories? What if we were increasingly vulnerable about our struggles, decreasing feelings of loneliness and isolation? What if we viewed every single person as a child of God?

What we say and do matters. The way we treat people matters.

Unworthy is a belief of many in despair. If they only knew how cherished and loved they were.

Let us be His hands and feet.

Identity

Who Am I?

I recently saw a movie called Overcomer, the overarching theme being identity.

We see the characters attaching their identities to specific roles and life experiences.

Through the harsh realities of life, God shows up, revealing who he is while showing the characters who they are, according to the one who created them.

Chains break.

Hurts heal.

Hearts mend.

Once we know where our true identity comes from, we need to nurture this truth. Otherwise, we’ll continue getting caught up in the lies of the world and our minds.

How do we do this?

  • Get to know the creator by reading his word. Once you know who he is, you’ll understand who you are.
  • Pray for the truth of who you are to be louder than the lies.
  • Join a small group of like-minded individuals who will speak truth over your life.

Check out the movie Overcomer!

Uncategorized

I’ve Got Plans

Have you ever had plans for your life that ended up not working out?

My plan as a young girl was to be a singer/actress. My summers involved musicals and rock bands. I loved being on stage and in the spotlight.

An opportunity arose when I was 15 years old. I had the chance to attend a prestigious camp to further my skills and career. My parents signed me up and I was ready to go.

And…

Then I met a boy, “fell in love,” and decided to skip camp to hang out with him. We broke up a few years later.

This changed the trajectory of my life.

I’d sometimes wonder what things would’ve been like if I had gone to that camp.

That wasn’t the plan for my life.

We tend to make plans according to our desires and needs; “I want… I want to be…” Sometimes we make plans based on what others desire for us. Mom might encourage marriage to a specific person. Dad wants you to take over the family business. We are blinded by our fleshly desires, so much so that we forget to consult with God about his plans for our lives.

God gives us freedom of choice. My choices may have put me on an alternate route, but God’s will prevailed.

Have you recently made a decision or plan that didn’t pan out? We’ve all been there. Here are some things that might help:

  • Surrender your will (if this is a struggle for you, pray for the desire to do so)
  • Pray for wisdom for your future and choices
  • Be aware of his presence and promptings
  • Trust that God’s plans are better than yours

What plans in your life turned out differently than you thought they would?