Category: Thought Life

Attitude, Identity, Thought Life

It’s Not Me, It’s Them

Jaime

The world is full of broken people. I’m one of them.

Genocide, Human Trafficking, Homelessness, Politics. Watching the news for any length of time shows this reality. It’s easy to point fingers and blame others for the condition of our world, but do we ever think about our contribution?

“But I’m a good person,” I’d tell myself as I stole money from dad’s wallet. “If I didn’t have this drug habit, I wouldn’t be doing this.”

“But I’m a good person,” I’d reason while fooling around with someone’s boyfriend. “I’m deserving of love and attention too.”

“And anyway, I volunteer at a crisis center and work in a group home, so it balances things out. It’s not like I’m hurting anybody.” Talk about a screwy way of thinking.

Being so focused on my needs and desires, I genuinely convinced myself that my choices didn’t affect others. Isn’t this what we do? We rationalize and justify our behaviors and decisions.

This post is not meant to elicit feelings of guilt or shame but rather to encourage an honest look at our part in things. Our perceptions, assumptions, past experiences, egos, pride, and lots of other things drive our choices. 

“We” are not the problem, but the truth is, we all contribute to the brokenness of this world. The harsh reality is that this world is getting worse, but we, as individuals and disciples of Christ, are called to be a light in the broken places. 

How?

  • Be humble (talking to myself here). We don’t always need to be right.
  • Be respectful, regardless of others’ opinions or beliefs.
  • Self-Inventory. Keep track of your thoughts. Where do they come from? How are they steering your decisions (even in the little things)?
  • Keep your side of the street clean. Regardless of what anyone else is doing or saying, do what God is calling you to do or be.
  • Love Hard! It’s not easy but needed.
  • Keep your eyes fixed on what’s to come. This is not the finale.

Would you pray with me?

Lord, please help us by shining a light into the dark places of our minds and hearts. Use us as you please for your purposes, until you come back and fix all brokenness once and for all. Amen.

Mental Health, Thought Life

Compromised Mind

Jaime

This past week it felt like someone tied me up, put tape over my mouth, and made me sit in a corner, forcing me to watch my life as a spectator.

When my mental health is compromised, I feel so disconnected from my life. One moment, I feel like a robotic sociopath, numbness permeating my entire being. The next, I feel like a raging lunatic, ready to take on whoever looks at me wrong. It makes no sense, but it feels real. 

It’s a straight-up battle in my mind.

Negative thoughts and false beliefs come with fists swinging. Luckily, I’m prepared. Armor blocks the unhealthy thoughts, the truth slaying them on the spot.

I still FEEL crappy.

The thoughts still come.

Yet, TRUTH keeps me grounded. My identity remains impenetrable.

What battles have challenged your identity?

Drugs, Identity, Thought Life

Stand Tall

Jaime

You messed up again

The cycle repeats

Your gut says to hide

Your mind screams defeat

Chock full of failure

You trip and you fall

His voice then reminds you

My daughter, stand tall

Your heart is broken

You thought it would last

He told you forever

But now its the past

You gave it away

You wait for his call

A song then reminds you

My daughter, stand tall

You said you were done

But you couldn’t resist

You love how it feels

A comfort you’ve missed

You had one month clean

Shame makes you feel small

You remember a verse

My daughter, stand tall

You cover it up

Your starting to doubt

You quickly forget

What the Gospel’s about

No matter the wrong

The truth trumps it all

Remember your father

My daughter, stand tall.

What failures or mistakes are you holding onto?

Identity, Thought Life

Happy Birthday

Jaime

Did you know that God smiled the day you were born?

Some of you might not think this is true. You may have been told that you were a mistake.

Maybe you survived an abortion or were born addicted to drugs. You might have been an “oopsie baby” or a result of rape. Whatever the case, you were meant to be here. Not only that, but you are a blessing.

We allow others to tell us who we are or aren’t, engraving their words into our hearts as we walk around this world with our heads hanging low.

If you only knew…

How precious you are, intricately made by a powerful Father who does not make mistakes.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but someone does.

Babies are born every single day, so I know it’s someone’s birthday today: Whoever and wherever you are, Happy Birthday. Here’s to you my friend. It’s an honor to celebrate your life.

Now, blow out the candles!

Whose life can you help celebrate today?

Identity, Thought Life

Move, Get Out The Way.

Jaime

Do you ever find yourself getting in the way of your hopes and dreams?

A new relationship was on the horizon, but it ended before having a chance to blossom. The risk of getting your heart broken was too much to bear. A potential job opportunity presented itself, but you didn’t apply. The other applicants were more qualified.

Sometimes, our past experiences shape how we function in the present. Other times, our insecurities and doubts get the best of us. If my past relationship didn’t work out, why would this one? I’ve been rejected by three companies, why would this be any different?

When we let these things get in the way of our goals and plans, we are self-sabotaging.

If we dig deep, we find fear, distrust, and insecurity ingrained into our thinking. This affects our decision-making process. Unfortunately, the results are lost opportunities and blessings.

It’s normal to feel these things–so let’s not beat ourselves up for it–but we can feel certain ways and move through them (I know, not easy).

Pray for courage.

Trust in God’s plan for the situation.

Do it, anyway.

Listen to God’s voice and let Him guide you in all that you do.

Sure, there is a risk of heartbreak, but what if this is the person you are meant to spend your life with? Yes, there might be others more qualified than you, but then again, there might be something about you that stands out against the rest.

You won’t know unless you try. So, get out of your own way. And remember, the outcome doesn’t change who you are.

What are you standing in the way of?

Thought Life

Just A Thought

Jaime

Our thoughts influence us more than we think.

During times of stress I’ve thought about driving far away from my family; starting over in a town where no one knows me. I’d be a server at a local restaurant. When done with my shifts, I’d go home to a quiet place with no responsibilities except for watching tv and eating ice cream.

Even though I’ve taken the time to think about this, I would never follow through with it. Or would I? After all, thinking about doing something and actually doing it are two different things, right?

My thoughts have great power over me. In many cases, they’ve created my reality. When I am focused on my needs and desires, my brain starts going down the road of “you deserve more, your happiness is most important.” I can easily feed into these things.

Our decisions don’t typically start with action, but with a thought. Recovering addicts will most likely tell you that relapse happened in their minds before ever using. Same goes for those who have been unfaithful. Lustful thoughts usually precede physical contact.

The more we think about, obsess, perseverate and mull over things, the more real they become.

As much as I’d like to say that these momentary thoughts of escapism are harmless, I have to be conscious not to entertain them. I know what I am capable of; therefore, I need to protect my mind, heart, and family.

“But we are human. We are not dead. We can’t shut our minds off.” All true.

And

We can choose to engage or disengage with our thoughts as they come up. They don’t have the authority to control us unless we let them.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn God’s will for you which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:2 NLT

Be mindful of each thought. Develop awareness of patterns of thinking. Be gentle with yourself. It’s a process.

Attitude, Thought Life

But I Want To

Jaime

The food we eat affects our state of mind and overall health. In order to be fit and healthy, we need to eat well. I’ve realized over time that the same goes for my spiritual and emotional well being.

I started watching a new television series about the struggles of young adults. It has lots of explicit content.

I know what my own personal struggles and temptations are and often try to stay away from content that feeds the beasts. This show is not healthy for me to watch, yet I’m drawn to it.

The things we watch affect our minds and hearts

This is not a “though shall not” thing, more of a “this stuff seeps into my mind and heart” thing.

I’ve come to realize that my mind and heart are not always dependable when it comes to decision making. I can manipulate myself into thinking anything is right for me if I want to.

I am good at rationalizing things. For instance, I want to author books for young adults. I’d also like to mentor young women. This show could potentially help me to understand what it’s like to live as a young woman in this day and age. Therefore, its research. Boom!

I can’t undo the things I’ve seen and heard. They have played a part in my life in one way or another. Adding more length to the reel doesn’t serve me well…

But I want to watch it.

This is where I have to make a choice.

We can’t undo what we’ve seen

Will I submit to my fleshly desires and continue watching? Am I willing to accept the consequences? Do I want to regress to former ways of thinking and old patterns of behaviors?

I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do. I do know what’s best for me, but I don’t always choose that route.

What’s your “But I want to?”

Thought Life

I’m Judging You

Jaime

I confess I judge others. My mind just seems to go there at times without my permission, AND other times it has my full consent. This usually occurs upon first seeing someone, the whole book by a cover thing. I have nothing else to go by except for what I see. It’s part of my humanity.

I confess I judge others

One day while at the airport waiting for my flight, I heard some women talking about a fellow female who was also waiting for a plane. She was a pretty girl, wearing something looking similar to lingerie; something that would be worn in the comfort of one’s home.  

Of course, I had to look and see what they were talking about; I am human. At that moment I had a choice to make. Was I going to judge too? Instead, I started wondering about her. Who is she? What’s her story?

I had a choice to make

So, what did I choose to do? Well, I still don’t know her story and didn’t take the time to find out (wasn’t the time or place). But, I chose compassion (which is not my natural response). I decided to view her as God does, as his beautiful daughter.

For much of my life any time a thought or feeling would arise I’d go with it. I never knew I had the choice to engage or disengage.

I don’t know if we ever get to a place of complete nonjudgement (I’m not there yet), but after my initial automatic judgy thought arises, I get to choose what comes after.                                                 

I get to choose

Remember that girl I just spoke about? As I was boarding the plane, I saw her sitting in first class with a not so good looking guy (judgment). I thought to myself “she must be with him because he has money (judgment).” Do you see! I JUST decided not to judge, and there my mind goes again. So, yes, it appears to be the human condition.

Before slamming that gavel down, I need to remember a few things:

They (whoever they are) are made in the image of God, just like me.

I have my own issues. Even though mine may not be visible to others, they still exist.

Check in with me to see if there are any feelings of jealousy or envy involved.

How can you choose compassion over judgement today?