Category: Thought Life

Dependence on God, Thought Life, Uncategorized

“You Know You Want To”

Jaime

“You know you want to,” it whispers.

“It’s not like you’re doing anything wrong.”

“You’re allowed to look and think about it/him/her.”

“No one has to know.”

“Aren’t you curious?”

The Voice of Temptation

It speaks my language

Knows my weaknesses

Appeals to my senses

The Voice of Temptation

Brings up my past

Deludes my thoughts

Blurs my vision

The Voice of Temptation

Spits lies

Is convincing

Wants me to engage my flesh

The Voice of God

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

The Voice of God

“God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12

The Voice of God

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

It’s time to make a choice.

Flesh vs. Spirit

What’s it gonna be?

Stay awake and pray so that you won’t enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Matthew 26:41

Attitude, Mental Health, Support, Thought Life

Ways To Refocus Our Minds On God

Jaime

My peace starts dissipating as I watch the news. My focus on the ever-flipping changes in the world incites worry and doubt. If I don’t switch modes, my thoughts will spiral down a road of hopelessness.

If you’ve lived in this world over the past year, you’ve likely experienced some of the following;

Isolation

Loneliness

Depression

Anxiety/Worry

Insecurity (as a nation)

Doubt

Whatever your experience has been, I’d like to validate it. It’s been a challenging year!

This is why we need to be diligent in refocusing our minds. Remembering, that as believers, even though we live IN the world, we are called not to be OF it.

How do we do this?

By focusing on the NEVER-changing Word of God.

Let’s talk about Ephesians 4:21-24

“Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God-truly righteous and holy.” 

This passage gives valuable information on how we can refocus our attention on God.

I highlighted some “power” words in the passage because they speak to what WE ought to be doing. Our relationship with God is a two-way street, which means that we have a responsibility to make these things work.

21: We have HEARD the Gospel = We KNOW what it says. 

21 -22: We have LEARNED that truth comes from God = You no longer have to live like you used to (old nature; worry, doubt, trusting in the ways of the world). His ways are now our ways.

23: LET the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes = DON’T conform to the ways of the world. You have the Holy Spirit within you and that power WILL help align your thoughts and attitudes with Gods (because it’s his will for you)

24: PUT on your new nature = Choose God’s way of living in the world.

Okay, but what does this look practically?

  1. Staying in the Word. Knowing what it says. If you’re struggling with something specific (i.e., loneliness, anxiety), read and memorize passages that speak about these things.
  2. Allocating specific times to watch the news and engage on social media. Then shutting it down.
  3. Reminding yourself that your thoughts and feelings are not truth.
  4. Actively seeking a support system of like-minded individuals to hold you accountable to the safe-guards you set in place.

We need to SEEK & CHOOSE his Kingdom every day so that the world we live in doesn’t take us down, because it will.

What is one thing you can do today to refocus your attention on God?

Dependence on God, Mental Health, Thought Life, Uncategorized

How To Cope During Times Of Uncertainty

Jaime

I have never been one to handle uncertainty well.

When my youngest son came down with RSV (a respiratory virus), it was one of the scariest times of my life. He went from being a healthy three-month-old to almost being placed on a ventilator. I had no control over the situation. During a time that was already stressful, I was adding fuel to the fire by allowing my thoughts to run free.

When stressful events happen, we tend to play out scenarios in our heads. Here are some ways we do so;

“What If” thinking:
Ruminating all possible outcomes of a situation (i.e., what if my baby is brain-damaged, what if I had brought him in sooner)?

Predicting/Assuming:
Thinking that you know what will happen in a specific situation
(i.e., he’s going to have respiratory issues forever).

Catastrophizing:
Thinking the worst
(i.e., my baby is going to die).

These are the mechanisms we use as an attempt to control situations that are beyond our control. The two culprits driving our thoughts? Fear and Anxiety. Unfortunately, these ways of thinking often cause us to behave or react in ways that aren’t always helpful to us or those around us, yet, they are normal human responses.

The good news; we don’t have to camp in these thought patterns. We can train our minds to think differently. Here are some examples;

“What If”

“What if my son is brain-damaged?”
Response: “God will give you the strength to deal with it.”

Predicting/Assuming;
“I just know he’s going to suffer from respiratory issues from this day forward.”
Response: “And, if he does – like everything else in our life – we will deal with it and educate him on how to deal with it.”

Catastrophizing;
“He’s going to die.”
Response: “No matter the outcome, I trust God. He knows and sees the entire picture. I can do anything with Him by my side.

What is your go-to way of thinking during times of uncertainty?

Identity, Thought Life, Uncategorized

How To Let Go Of Control

Jaime

Lately, I’ve been obsessing about my physical appearance. I got new make-up (was way too excited when it arrived) and just made another purchase last night. I’ve also wanted a new wardrobe (even though I hardly leave my house these days).

I truly thought I was focusing on appearance, but then I realized it’s not about what I look like (well, maybe a little). It’s my way of managing things when I feel powerless in other areas of my life.

Control gives the illusion of security and safety. It might make us feel better in the moment but ultimately ends up confusing our priorities and choices. If we take the layer of control away, we often see that there are deeper issues involved.

What steps can we take to become less controlling?

  1. Awareness

 Identify the situations you find yourself being controlling.

Some might be;

-house needs to be clean

–appearance needs to be flawless

-need to do it all (perfect mom, wife, employee)

-relationships (boyfriend, husband, kids)

If you are having a hard time pinpointing areas;

-ask someone close to you what they see (others can oftentimes see things that we can’t).

-ask the Holy Spirit to reveal these areas in your life.

2. Need

What is underneath the behavior? What is this control fulfilling? 

There is something you are getting from it. Some examples of underlying needs;

-self-esteem, insecurity (i.e., feeling “good enough”)

-anxiety (i.e., predictability, stability)

-trust (i.e., protection from being hurt)

3. Choice

Ask yourself; are these behaviors working for me?

If not, start with changing one (only one) of the situations you’ve identified. Your flesh will fight you on this, but it’s about training your mind and not allowing your feelings to run the show, especially when you’re uncomfortable (and you will be at the beginning).

4. Pray

-for the strengthening of your mind

-for increased faith and trust in God (in general and in the specific situations you are working on)

-for wisdom as you move forward with the process.

I highly encourage getting an accountability partner. It’s hard to do this stuff on our own. If you can’t think of someone, feel free to contact me, and I can help.

Where do you struggle with control the most?

Attitude, Thought Life

How To Persevere When Discouraged

Jaime

It’s hard to persevere when you’re not getting the results you had hoped for.

I’ve been writing for a while now. My goals have shifted more than once over the years (aspiring author, speaker, life coach), but, at this point, I kind of expected to be further along than I am, which can be discouraging at times.

I get caught up in the number game; followers, engagements, likes, and any other validation around being an influencer. I start comparing my brand aesthetics and overall content with other bloggers who are more “popular.” It can easily lead me to question my purpose.

We set goals with the intention of meeting them. When we realize that we are not meeting them or that there might be a chance of failure, we think about throwing in the towel (or do). “Might as well opt out now before we fail for real.”

We need measurable goals to determine outcomes, and there may come a time when we need to concede (I’m so not there yet), but we also need to remember the “why” behind our goals and desires. Our why is our driving force.

I loathed myself for many years and spent so much time and energy searching for identity and wholeness. I don’t want ANYONE to ever feel this way about themselves. THIS is my why.

So tell me, what’s yours?

Attitude, Dependence on God, Thought Life

Never Say Never

Jaime

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I could never __ “(fill in the blank)?

In a season of not being able to get pregnant, I watched a reality show about a woman going through in-vitro fertilization (IVF). At one point, she ended up in the hospital due to complications. I remember thinking, “I could never go through that. The mental and physical demands would kill me.”

Little did I know a few years later I’d be going through it, not once but four times! This is the moment where my “I could never” switched to “heck yeah I can!”

We set ourselves up for failure before even trying. Fears convince us of the impossibilities. Our feelings and thoughts attempt to rule our lives, but the truth is, they don’t have as much power as we give them credit for.

We CAN do hard things regardless of what our thoughts and feelings are communicating, especially when God has our back.

The next time you find yourself saying, “I could never…”

  1. Challenge it. Ask why?
  2. Take inventory – (remember the hard things you’ve done in the past).
  3. Flip It – (“I can do anything that God has called me to”).
  4. Fill your mind with truth – (read scriptures about overcoming fear and being strengthened in Christ).
  5. Support – (find people to encourage you along the way. Accountability will help you move forward)

What is your, “I could never?”

Attitude, Thought Life

What If?

Jaime

I recently watched the movie “The Way Back.” A man struggling with alcoholism gets an opportunity to coach a boy’s basketball team, leading him on a path of recovery and healing.

The first part would have you believe that his addiction ruined his life, but as the story unfolds, you learn that one year prior, his 10-year-old son died of cancer.

“No wonder he’s drinking like he is,” I said to myself, my initial judgment switching to empathy.

First impressions are usually the tip of the iceberg. Our hurts, hang-ups, and baggage are what floats beneath the surface. There is a reason people are the way they are.

It’s unrealistic for us to get to know everyone’s story, but there is a way to incorporate empathy for others. Want to know how?

By asking the question, “what if?”

The next time you find yourself having an opinion about someone (we all do), ask yourself some questions:

What if her husband died in a car accident?

What if their dad used to beat them?

What if he was recently diagnosed with stage 4 cancer?

You get it, right?

Do you have any thoughts on what might help increase empathy towards others?

Attitude, Thought Life

My Bad

Jaime

Do you know the verse in Romans where Paul speaks about not understanding himself? He wants to do what is right but doesn’t do it. Instead, he does what he hates (Romans 7:15).

I can relate.

It’s time to pick up the kiddos from school. I do so at the turnaround. Upon arrival, parked cars fill the circular driveway. I get in line, taking my place behind the last of the vehicles on the street.

The train of cars starts moving forward. All of a sudden, a car pulls in front of me, taking her place in line. “Seriously,” I mouth. Anger rises, yet I choose to practice what I do when someone cuts me off, giving them the benefit of the doubt;

“Maybe she’s late for an appointment OR, it might be her first time at the turnaround (which can be confusing if you’ve never been).” I let it go and continue inching up until I reach the driveway.

Once in the circle, you are encouraged to pull all the way up and around to speed up the pick-up process. Well, the same car stops near the curb in the middle of the circle. I decide to go around her (remembering it might be her first time), at which time she moves forward, giving me a dirty look for trying to pass her.

So, what did I do?

I threw my car in park, in the middle – of the middle – of the turnaround, hastily exiting my car to approach hers, to give her the 411 on how the process works. Long story short, she dissed me.

I took a deep breath, got back in my car, grabbed the kids, and left.

I don’t strive to be perfect, BUT I do strive to be respectful and loving towards others. So, to the lady at the turnaround, I want to apologize for coming at you like that.

I don’t want anger getting the best of me (yet it runs deep). Paul was right; the struggles between flesh and spirit are real.

What’s your experience been like between the flesh and spirit?

Attitude, Love, Thought Life

I Lust You

Jaime

Love:

-an intense feeling of deep affection.

-a great interest and pleasure in something.

Lust:

– to have an intense sexual desire or need.

– an intense longing.

I’ve been “in lust” many times, often thinking it was love. All my lustful thoughts and feelings started with the phrase “I want.” Once I met the man who would eventually become my husband, the “I want” sentiment remained. Wasn’t there supposed to be a difference between the two?

Both definitions (received from Google and Merriam-Webster Dictionary) appear to be all about me. My desires, my needs, my interests, my pleasure.

No wonder my relationships didn’t work!

If my needs weren’t met, I’d leave. If I was no longer physically attracted to my partner, it was over (I was quite shallow and still can be). The interesting thing; the world encouraged this.

God flips the script, telling us that love is not self-serving, but quite the opposite. It’s about sacrifice and service. It’s not a feeling. It’s a choice. I have to choose my husband each day. Sometimes it’s a piece of cake, others, not so much.

When my feelings and thoughts communicate something different than the truth of God’s Word and His definition of love, I know it ain’t right. My part; commitment, willingness, selflessness (ouch), honesty, vulnerability, and last but not least, seeking love from the source Himself.

How do you know the difference between lust and love?

Identity, Thought Life

Flip It

Jaime

Did you know that tomorrow is “opposite day?” I didn’t realize this was a thing.

To celebrate, I was hoping you’d be down for a little experiment. Let me explain before I scare you away.

Our thoughts often create our reality, and many times they are untrue statements. Increased awareness of what we think allows us to identify false beliefs, stop them in their tracks, and replace them with truth. Here’s an example;

Limiting thought: “I messed up again; I’m so stupid.”

Flip It: “Nope, we are not going there. Yes, you messed up, but you’re not stupid. You are learning, AND this mess up doesn’t define you.”

Make Sense?

Over the next 24 hours (starting at midnight), I’m encouraging you to keep track of your thoughts. When unhealthy, self-defeating, untrue thoughts pass by (because they will), challenge them, flip em and counteract.

But how do I know what is true, you might be asking?

What God says about us is true. Test all thoughts against His Word. If it doesn’t match up, slay that thought with your pink sparkly sword. Oh, wait, that’s mine.

Let’s Do This!

Happy Opposite Day!

What thoughts of yours could use some flipping?