Category: Uncategorized

Dependence on God, Drugs, Mental Health, Support, The Holidays, Uncategorized

Don’t White Knuckle Sobriety During The Holidays. Plan Ahead With These 5 Tips.

Jaime

Tempted to drink during the holidays? Try these 5 practical steps to stay sober.

𝟏. 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 (for accountability purposes).

It might be awkward, but necessary if you’re serious about it. It’s easy to plan on not drinking when we’re not yet in the situation, but much harder while in the moment.

𝟐. 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. You will actively be drinking something and feel less self-conscious around others.

Heck, drink beverages in fancy cups. “I’ll have a Shirley Temple in a wine glass, please.”

𝟑. 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝. The bathroom works. Lock that door, throw water on your face, look in the mirror, and say, “You can do this, God, please help me do this.”

𝟒. 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐦, 𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐬—𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲. It will help curb those other fixations that go along with the habit.

𝟓. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞.

It’s not the most convenient thing to do, and you might get crap for it, but your true family and friends will understand. Hit a 12-step meeting, call your sponsor (if you have one), or someone else who gets it.

And remember, be gentle with yourself. After all, you ARE your own worst enemy. Take it one moment at a time.

Dependence on God, Thought Life, Uncategorized

“You Know You Want To”

Jaime

“You know you want to,” it whispers.

“It’s not like you’re doing anything wrong.”

“You’re allowed to look and think about it/him/her.”

“No one has to know.”

“Aren’t you curious?”

The Voice of Temptation

It speaks my language

Knows my weaknesses

Appeals to my senses

The Voice of Temptation

Brings up my past

Deludes my thoughts

Blurs my vision

The Voice of Temptation

Spits lies

Is convincing

Wants me to engage my flesh

The Voice of God

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

The Voice of God

“God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12

The Voice of God

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

It’s time to make a choice.

Flesh vs. Spirit

What’s it gonna be?

Stay awake and pray so that you won’t enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Matthew 26:41

Uncategorized

Don’t Tell Me What To Do

Jaime

Obedience:

compliance with an order, request, law, or submission to another’s authority.

Eek, I’m not too fond of the word. It makes me think of obedience training for dogs. I ain’t no dog.

When the pastor tells the congregation to rise for communion each Sunday, my insides squirm, “Don’t tell me what to do.” I’m a rebel at heart and don’t submit to anyone. That is until I gave my life to Jesus.

Surrendering my life meant dying to self and placing God’s will and Word ahead of my desires, feelings, and thoughts. So, when the pastor tells me to rise, I do it. Not because he is telling me to, but because God has appointed him, and I’m called to respect that.

We (as believers) have a responsibility to live a certain kind of life. Saved by grace, we have put our faith and trust in God. As a result, our response should be that of obedience. Not because we have to, but because we GET to.

What does living an obedient life look like?

  1. Loving God
  2. Loving others

 Big Picture Obedience

-Viewing scripture as the highest authority in our lives and living by it.

-Reading the bible (so we know what scripture says).

-Prayer: asking for God’s guidance in all situations. 

– Worship: expressing gratitude for who God is and what He’s done.

-Sharing the gospel: telling others about Jesus. 

-Discipleship: mentorship in the ways of Jesus.

-Collaborating with the Holy Spirit in everything we do.

-Placing Jesus and his ways above everything (politics and other worldly ways).

-Willingness to continue being molded into the likeness of Jesus.

-Living life differently and sharing in His suffering. 

What this looks like in everyday life:

Entertainment:  Intentionally choosing what we watch and listen to. 

Choosing our words wisely.

Taking thoughts captive and aligning them with God’s will. 

Forgiveness (despite feelings). 

How we view and treat others.

Not sitting in our own pity parties. Taking responsibility for our part, repenting as needed, and accepting the gift of grace that’s already been given.

How we use our time, and where we put our energy.

What’s the point of obedience?

  • One of the highest forms (if not the highest) of worship. 
  • An expression of our love, faith, and trust in God. 
  • Preparation for wherever God leads us. Obedience in the small things prepares us for the bigger things.
  • Points others to God: Living and responding differently when storms of life occur.

Benefits of obedience:

  • A peace that transcends all understanding. An inner knowing that God has our best interests at heart.
  • Increased intimacy with Him.
  • Sanctification: Continue growing in the likeness of God
  • Not fearing man or anything else in this world.

What one step of obedience can you take today?

“Faith demands commitment at the level of your heart, but obedience demands commitment at the level of your feet.”

                                                         (Unknown)

Dependence on God, Uncategorized

Start Doing, Not Doubting

Jaime

When God calls you to something, do you doubt and question, or do you respond by taking action?

It all comes down to trust.

How do you begin trusting God?

  1. Get to know Him by reading the bible
  2. Focus on His attribute of trustworthiness
  3. See His faithfulness to His people

We may not understand all that God is doing, but trusting Him is what gives us courage. This will make taking action a natural response over time.

What is one thing you can do in this season to start trusting God?

Support, Uncategorized

What Burden Are You Carrying on Your Own?

Jaime

God chose Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, through the wilderness, and into the Holy Land.

In Numbers 11, we witness Moses’ frustration with the burden of responsibility for God’s people. The Israelites are constantly whining about circumstances, and God’s frustration towards them continues increasing. Moses is the middleman between God and the people, and it becomes too much for him to bear.

What does Moses do?

He cries out to the Lord, telling Him that it’s all too much for him.

How does God respond? Does He tell Moses to grin and bear it? No, God hears Moses and instructs him to find 70 leaders to help care for His people.

How often do we feel the need to carry our burdens alone? Pride holds us back from asking for help. We “should” be able to deal with (fill in the blank), especially if God has called us to the task at hand.

But, the truth is,

We were never meant to carry these burdens on our own.

What burden have you been carrying? What are some ways you can lighten the load?

Dependence on God, Mental Health, Thought Life, Uncategorized

How To Cope During Times Of Uncertainty

Jaime

I have never been one to handle uncertainty well.

When my youngest son came down with RSV (a respiratory virus), it was one of the scariest times of my life. He went from being a healthy three-month-old to almost being placed on a ventilator. I had no control over the situation. During a time that was already stressful, I was adding fuel to the fire by allowing my thoughts to run free.

When stressful events happen, we tend to play out scenarios in our heads. Here are some ways we do so;

“What If” thinking:
Ruminating all possible outcomes of a situation (i.e., what if my baby is brain-damaged, what if I had brought him in sooner)?

Predicting/Assuming:
Thinking that you know what will happen in a specific situation
(i.e., he’s going to have respiratory issues forever).

Catastrophizing:
Thinking the worst
(i.e., my baby is going to die).

These are the mechanisms we use as an attempt to control situations that are beyond our control. The two culprits driving our thoughts? Fear and Anxiety. Unfortunately, these ways of thinking often cause us to behave or react in ways that aren’t always helpful to us or those around us, yet, they are normal human responses.

The good news; we don’t have to camp in these thought patterns. We can train our minds to think differently. Here are some examples;

“What If”

“What if my son is brain-damaged?”
Response: “God will give you the strength to deal with it.”

Predicting/Assuming;
“I just know he’s going to suffer from respiratory issues from this day forward.”
Response: “And, if he does – like everything else in our life – we will deal with it and educate him on how to deal with it.”

Catastrophizing;
“He’s going to die.”
Response: “No matter the outcome, I trust God. He knows and sees the entire picture. I can do anything with Him by my side.

What is your go-to way of thinking during times of uncertainty?

Identity, Thought Life, Uncategorized

How To Let Go Of Control

Jaime

Lately, I’ve been obsessing about my physical appearance. I got new make-up (was way too excited when it arrived) and just made another purchase last night. I’ve also wanted a new wardrobe (even though I hardly leave my house these days).

I truly thought I was focusing on appearance, but then I realized it’s not about what I look like (well, maybe a little). It’s my way of managing things when I feel powerless in other areas of my life.

Control gives the illusion of security and safety. It might make us feel better in the moment but ultimately ends up confusing our priorities and choices. If we take the layer of control away, we often see that there are deeper issues involved.

What steps can we take to become less controlling?

  1. Awareness

 Identify the situations you find yourself being controlling.

Some might be;

-house needs to be clean

–appearance needs to be flawless

-need to do it all (perfect mom, wife, employee)

-relationships (boyfriend, husband, kids)

If you are having a hard time pinpointing areas;

-ask someone close to you what they see (others can oftentimes see things that we can’t).

-ask the Holy Spirit to reveal these areas in your life.

2. Need

What is underneath the behavior? What is this control fulfilling? 

There is something you are getting from it. Some examples of underlying needs;

-self-esteem, insecurity (i.e., feeling “good enough”)

-anxiety (i.e., predictability, stability)

-trust (i.e., protection from being hurt)

3. Choice

Ask yourself; are these behaviors working for me?

If not, start with changing one (only one) of the situations you’ve identified. Your flesh will fight you on this, but it’s about training your mind and not allowing your feelings to run the show, especially when you’re uncomfortable (and you will be at the beginning).

4. Pray

-for the strengthening of your mind

-for increased faith and trust in God (in general and in the specific situations you are working on)

-for wisdom as you move forward with the process.

I highly encourage getting an accountability partner. It’s hard to do this stuff on our own. If you can’t think of someone, feel free to contact me, and I can help.

Where do you struggle with control the most?

Uncategorized

Keeping It Light

Jaime

This week I’ve decided to write some fun facts about myself.

My First Job: Boston Market (I eventually got fired).

Worst Habit: Nail biting

A Movie I’ve Watched a Gazillion Times: Coyote Ugly (I owned the VHS, and when I moved from NY to CA, it provided comfort. Don’t judge me).

My Superpower Would Be: reading minds

Embarrassing Moment (one of many): While attending a party at Chuck E Cheese, a woman approached me as I piled food onto my plate. Long story short, I was at the wrong party.

My Latest Addiction: TikTok

I Would Love To Meet: Joyce Meyer. She has helped me improve my thought life while encouraging me not to live by my feelings. What a game-changer!

Something I’m Proud Of: Throwing a surprise 25th-anniversary party for my parents.

Favorite Comfort Food: Pasta

Greatest Struggle: Mental health

I Can’t Stand The Sound Of: Fingernails on a chalkboard

My Dream Job(s): Speaking, Writing, Coaching

Growing Up I Wanted To Be A: Singer/Actress

My Favorite Job: Working in a group home for mentally ill adults.

Piercings? Used to have navel, nose, and tongue.

Fear: Not being the mom I’ve been called to be.

Best Decision Ever Made: Surrendering my life to God.

Biggest Lesson: I am who God says I am.

Tell me a fun fact about you?

Attitude, Love, Uncategorized

Someone Else’s Shoes

Jaime

I recently watched the movie “Freaky Friday” (2003 version) with my daughter. A mother and daughter switch bodies after eating a magical fortune cookie, experiencing what it’s like to walk in the other’s shoes.

To switch back, they need to understand and empathize with the other.

As I remain quarantined in my house with family, toilet paper, food, and technology, I can’t help but think of those who don’t have these luxuries (never thought tp was a luxury, but now I do).

The population on my heart today are those in prison, specifically in isolation. I know there are reasons as to why they are in those situations, yet, I feel for them as fellow human beings.

We are all experiencing the realities of this crisis in different ways. My prayer is for us to remain grateful, keeping our eyes focused on God and how He wants to use us in this time of struggle.

Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.

John 13:35 NLT
Uncategorized

Popping Bubbles

Jaime

“Should I even be here?” The thought scurried through my mind upon arrival.

This past weekend I went to a concert/show with hubby. Loud music, laser lights, and colorful people filled the room. Puffs of smoke swirled above the main floor, while people danced to their heart’s content.

After settling into the atmosphere, my initial question turned into a definitive, Yes! Who better than someone who understands the culture and has been there and done that. Plus, I like electronic music. I prayed for God to use me throughout the evening while enjoying my night out.

In my current season of life, I spend most of my time engaging with people who share similar values. It’s comfortable. My activities, groups, and overall lifestyle centers around the culture in which I identify.

As Christians, we need to be part of a church community. Our faith strengthens as we grow spiritually and do life with others. Accountability is encouraged (hopefully) and welcome. Reading God’s Word, serving in the church and community; all of these are important.

But, we are called for more.

Be fisherman of men

Feed my sheep

Be the light

Go and make disciples

There is no cookie-cutter way of doing this. God uses our experiences and personalities to reach different people in all types of environments. While there are many ways to show love to others, the message of the Gospel remains the same.

We must burst our comfortable bubbles and go out into the world. Ultimately, we are responsible for spreading the love. Opportunities are everywhere.

How can you step out of your comfort zone today?