Author: Jaime

Jaime grew up in Queens, NY. She moved to California in her early 20's to pursue an MA in Psychology. After working in the mental health field for many years, she became a SAHM. Always having had a passion for people, Jaime now encourages others through writing and speaking.
Uncategorized

From Emotional Overflow to Spiritual Strength: Battling Temptation with Faith

Jaime

Last night, our toilet overflowed with poop water! It started spilling into the hallway—so nasty!

Earlier that evening, I had my own kind of overflow, but mine was emotional. Old temptations crept up on me, making me feel uncomfortable and contaminated.

Instead of letting it fester in the darkness, I exposed it to the light by asking a fellow believer to pray for me. Those moments are tough and can easily consume me, but I’ve proactively prepared for them. 1 Corinthians 10:13 reminds us:

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear (even though it sometimes feels that way). But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure.”

God has given us the weapons to conquer temptation, but we have to actively choose them. Remember, “He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4).

Having an intrusive thought doesn’t mean we have to entertain it. Having strong feelings doesn’t mean we have to give in to them.

So, next time you face a struggle, choose the light. Seek support, and know you’re never alone in the battle.

Thought Life, Uncategorized

Tired of Your Inner Critic? Here’s How to Take Back Control

Jaime

Let’s talk about that voice inside your head. You know, the one that constantly tells you you’re not doing enough and not measuring. Yeah, that one.

We all have it—it’s just a bit louder for us. It never lets us forget our flaws. It’s exhausting.

But here’s the deal: That voice is a liar, and it’s time to shut her down.

Recognize the Lies

That inner critic is not from God. It’s the enemy’s way of keeping us stuck in insecurity and comparison. The minute we start feeding into those lies, the louder and more convincing they get. So what do we do? We hit “mute.” We recognize when we’re being fed lies, and we replace them with God’s truth.

Stop Holding Yourself to Unrealistic Expectations

We want to do it all: be the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect Christian. But there is no such thing. We are imperfect people, and that’s okay. Know your limits.

Speak Truth Over Yourself

I’m not talking about the world’s version of “you have your truth, I have mine” self-affirmation stuff. I’m talking about truth grounded in God’s never-changing Word. The more you do this, the quieter that inner critic will become.

Accept God’s Grace (again and again)

You didn’t get everything done today? You yelled at the people you love? Maybe not your proudest moment, but you are human. Let’s stop beating ourselves up every time we fall short. Instead, let’s give God the space to work through our weaknesses and refine us for His glory. Accept the work that has already been done on that cross.

And, Finally, Pray

Sometimes, that inner critic just won’t let up. And when it gets too loud, rebuke it. Ask God to replace those harsh, critical thoughts with His truth and peace. Choose what He says about you over the loud-mouthed critic who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

What lies have you been listening to, and how are you going to replace them with God’s truth today? Drop a comment or share this with a friend who could use a reminder of her worth. You are not alone in this journey!

The Holidays

Dealing With People Who Irk You During The Holidays With Purpose and Intention.

Jaime

We all have that one person (or more) who gets on our last nerve during holiday gatherings. Whether it’s due to family dynamics, different values, communication styles, or overall holiday pressures and expectations, they irk us. Once a year, for the greater good, we are expected to tolerate them.

What if we changed things up and didn’t just tolerate them but were purposefully present with meaningful engagement? You might think there is no way in **** I can do that, but I beg to differ.

Here are some strategies to use when peeps start getting under your skin:

Look at this person as an image bearer like you. Acknowledging human brokenness puts everyone on a level playing field and adjusts your perceptions of them. 

Be curious. We all have a personal story; get to know theirs. Even if you know them well, there might still be stuff going on in their lives you’re unaware of. Approaching them intentionally with active listening might help to lessen the annoyance and increase compassion. 

Serve them physically and emotionally. 

  • Ask if they need anything throughout the day/evening. If they have an empty cup, offer to refill it.
  • If they drink too much or say something stupid, give them grace. The previous step of getting to know them will hopefully change your attitude and approach to their behaviors.

Remember, we’ve been saved by grace that we didn’t deserve, so we, too, should shell out some grace, even when we don’t want to.

Prayer

God, let your Holy Spirit fill us this holiday season. Help us be purposeful and intentional in thought, speech, and action, extending grace to others, especially when not feeling it. Thank you for the grace you’ve given through your Son, Jesus. Amen!

To whom and in what way will you show grace this holiday season?

Dependence on God, Drugs, Mental Health, Support, The Holidays, Uncategorized

Don’t White Knuckle Sobriety During The Holidays. Plan Ahead With These 5 Tips.

Jaime

Tempted to drink during the holidays? Try these 5 practical steps to stay sober.

𝟏. 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 (for accountability purposes).

It might be awkward, but necessary if you’re serious about it. It’s easy to plan on not drinking when we’re not yet in the situation, but much harder while in the moment.

𝟐. 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. You will actively be drinking something and feel less self-conscious around others.

Heck, drink beverages in fancy cups. “I’ll have a Shirley Temple in a wine glass, please.”

𝟑. 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝. The bathroom works. Lock that door, throw water on your face, look in the mirror, and say, “You can do this, God, please help me do this.”

𝟒. 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐦, 𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐬—𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲. It will help curb those other fixations that go along with the habit.

𝟓. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞.

It’s not the most convenient thing to do, and you might get crap for it, but your true family and friends will understand. Hit a 12-step meeting, call your sponsor (if you have one), or someone else who gets it.

And remember, be gentle with yourself. After all, you ARE your own worst enemy. Take it one moment at a time.

Identity

Breaking Through Religion To Get To The Relationship: Discovering your true identity in Christ.

Jaime

Before getting into the identity piece, let’s start with defining religion and relationship, specifically as they relate to Christianity.

What is Religion? 

A set of beliefs, practices, and rituals relating to faith that includes works, emphasizing our efforts to gain God’s acceptance.

What is a Relationship?

It is an intimate and secure bond between us and God (not to be mistaken as a relationship of equals). We are accepted by grace through faith because of what HE did through Jesus.

How do these two things affect our identity?

Identity in Religion

Who you are and how God sees you is based upon YOUR works. You are favored when doing what you are “supposed” to do but guilty and unloved when you fail. This puts all responsibility on you, resulting in an unstable and insecure identity that changes depending on your efforts.

Identity in Relationship

Who you are and how God sees you is based on HIS doing. God is who He says He is, which means we are who He says we are. As our Creator, God is the only one with authority to define us, and since there is nothing we can do to earn his acceptance, we remain stable and secure in the works that have already been done through Jesus. Therefore, our identity never changes.

What do you struggle with when it comes to the issue of identity?

Hormones

3 Ways The Enemy Attacks Our Identity During The Already Dreadful Time Of PMS, And How To Deal With It.

Jaime

PMS sucks. The rage, anxiety, irritability, and depression can take you down. As if that’s not enough, we have the added layer of feeling terrible about ourselves for what we’ve said or done during this time in our cycle. This is where the enemy gets a foothold.

Self-Deprecation

Our inner critic sneaks up on us, starting with a whisper and getting louder through the day. Your attitude spirals into a negative space, especially about yourself.

“Nice move, idiot. Why did you say that? Why did you do that? What were you thinking?”

Shame 

After a meltdown or explosion of emotions (usually towards the people you love most), you don’t just feel bad about your actions but about who you are as a person, leading to “I am” statements: 

“I am terrible. I am a disappointment. I am worthless.”

Guilt

Not attacking your personhood but continuously reminding yourself of what you’ve said and done—difficulties forgiving yourself even after others have already forgiven you. 

“Remember what happened yesterday? Remember how you freaked out? Remember how you thought you were a “good Christian” but acted demon-possessed?”

All the tactics above involve how we think and talk to ourselves, and it’s during these vulnerable times when we are most at risk for spiritual attack.

Here are some proactive tips to plan for that fun time of the month:

Track your cycle

I used to get caught off guard when my mind would go south, but once I started tracking my cycle, I could anticipate this vulnerable time and plan ahead. They have all sorts of apps for this, or you can follow it on your Google calendar, which I do.

Be aware of the company you keep

The people in our lives can trigger certain feelings about ourselves. Surround yourself with positive, encouraging people who speak life over you. Hang with the negative Nancy’s another time.

Fill Your Mind with Truth

-Read the word

-Listen to worship music or Christian podcasts

-Watch sermons 

Proactively doing these things will keep your mind focused so you know it’s not the truth when your thoughts, emotions, or the enemy spit lies at you.

Why does this matter?

The enemy wants nothing more than to convince us that we are not who God says we are. But, we need to understand that nothing (our actions, words, explosions, meltdowns, feelings, thoughts, or what anyone else says about you) will EVER change that. 

Our Part is:

-To acknowledge our humanity. 

-Ask for forgiveness when we mess up.

-Accept the gift of grace we’ve been given. Jesus’ death on the cross solidifies our identity, which means we are forever Daughters of the King.

What do you struggle most with during PMS, and what steps will you incorporate during your next cycle?

Mommy Moments

The Weiner Grabber: A Hilarious and Inappropriate Mommy Moment.

Jaime

We used to have a garbage picker-upper toy, but in our house, we called it the “Weiner Grabber.” My kindergartner wanted to bring it to school for “show and tell.”

On this particular day, we were late and had to go through the office. Thinking it was hilarious (and being that Calvin was holding it), I informed everyone in the office -including the Principal- the name of this gadget. I got a few weird looks and laughs, kissed my son, and sent him to his classroom.

While walking to my car, I realized I had just sent my son to school with a WEINER GRABBER, which he planned to show EVERYONE!

I emailed his teacher, informing her that he might identify his contraption as such. A few hours later, she told me that Calvin got up before the class and, with all seriousness, introduced his very own “Weiner Grabber.”

Mom of the year! I have so many moments like this, I could write a book.

What funny (or inappropriate) moments have you had as a mom?

The Holidays
Jaime

Limit Your Stress During The Holidays By Doing These 5 Things.

I get anxious around the Holidays, specifically around cooking. I am not the best cook, so I’m always scared that I am going to poison my guests. I am hosting Thanksgiving this year, and instead of stressing out, I decided to get an already-cooked turkey and ham. I also got canned cranberry sauce (I’m a fan of the can).

If you want to enjoy the holidays with less stress, here are some tips:

Get premade dishes
Not everything needs to be homemade, no matter what anyone else says, and who has enough space to cook all the things, anyway? It also helps so you don’t have to time all your dishes to be ready at once.

Don’t go crazy cleaning your house
It’s clean enough. People don’t notice the things you notice. I’ve allowed this chore to steal my joy, and you know what they say: a mama’s attitude can make or break things.

Decorate Minimally
I have fall decorations around the house (I can’t even begin to think of Christmas) and already know how I’m setting the table. I don’t have a fancy tablecloth or a dazzling centerpiece. Just two small pumpkins, and the table settings.

Don’t compare yourself with others
Social media will make you feel terrible about yourself. It’s such a comparison trap. Those posts might look pretty, but you have no clue what is happening behind the scenes. Focus on what’s important, the company you are with.

Don’t worry about what’s been done in the generations past
I know we think that we can do everything but it’s okay to acknowledge your limits and make new memories. Heck, eat Chinese Food and enjoy spending time with family.

What is one thing you can do this holiday season to lessen the stress?

Dependence on God, Thought Life, Uncategorized

“You Know You Want To”

Jaime

“You know you want to,” it whispers.

“It’s not like you’re doing anything wrong.”

“You’re allowed to look and think about it/him/her.”

“No one has to know.”

“Aren’t you curious?”

The Voice of Temptation

It speaks my language

Knows my weaknesses

Appeals to my senses

The Voice of Temptation

Brings up my past

Deludes my thoughts

Blurs my vision

The Voice of Temptation

Spits lies

Is convincing

Wants me to engage my flesh

The Voice of God

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

The Voice of God

“God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12

The Voice of God

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

It’s time to make a choice.

Flesh vs. Spirit

What’s it gonna be?

Stay awake and pray so that you won’t enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Matthew 26:41

Uncategorized

Don’t Tell Me What To Do

Jaime

Obedience:

compliance with an order, request, law, or submission to another’s authority.

Eek, I’m not too fond of the word. It makes me think of obedience training for dogs. I ain’t no dog.

When the pastor tells the congregation to rise for communion each Sunday, my insides squirm, “Don’t tell me what to do.” I’m a rebel at heart and don’t submit to anyone. That is until I gave my life to Jesus.

Surrendering my life meant dying to self and placing God’s will and Word ahead of my desires, feelings, and thoughts. So, when the pastor tells me to rise, I do it. Not because he is telling me to, but because God has appointed him, and I’m called to respect that.

We (as believers) have a responsibility to live a certain kind of life. Saved by grace, we have put our faith and trust in God. As a result, our response should be that of obedience. Not because we have to, but because we GET to.

What does living an obedient life look like?

  1. Loving God
  2. Loving others

 Big Picture Obedience

-Viewing scripture as the highest authority in our lives and living by it.

-Reading the bible (so we know what scripture says).

-Prayer: asking for God’s guidance in all situations. 

– Worship: expressing gratitude for who God is and what He’s done.

-Sharing the gospel: telling others about Jesus. 

-Discipleship: mentorship in the ways of Jesus.

-Collaborating with the Holy Spirit in everything we do.

-Placing Jesus and his ways above everything (politics and other worldly ways).

-Willingness to continue being molded into the likeness of Jesus.

-Living life differently and sharing in His suffering. 

What this looks like in everyday life:

Entertainment:  Intentionally choosing what we watch and listen to. 

Choosing our words wisely.

Taking thoughts captive and aligning them with God’s will. 

Forgiveness (despite feelings). 

How we view and treat others.

Not sitting in our own pity parties. Taking responsibility for our part, repenting as needed, and accepting the gift of grace that’s already been given.

How we use our time, and where we put our energy.

What’s the point of obedience?

  • One of the highest forms (if not the highest) of worship. 
  • An expression of our love, faith, and trust in God. 
  • Preparation for wherever God leads us. Obedience in the small things prepares us for the bigger things.
  • Points others to God: Living and responding differently when storms of life occur.

Benefits of obedience:

  • A peace that transcends all understanding. An inner knowing that God has our best interests at heart.
  • Increased intimacy with Him.
  • Sanctification: Continue growing in the likeness of God
  • Not fearing man or anything else in this world.

What one step of obedience can you take today?

“Faith demands commitment at the level of your heart, but obedience demands commitment at the level of your feet.”

                                                         (Unknown)