When God calls you to something, do you doubt and question, or do you respond by taking action?
It all comes down to trust.
How do you begin trusting God?
We may not understand all that God is doing, but trusting Him is what gives us courage. This will make taking action a natural response over time.
What is one thing you can do in this season to start trusting God?
God chose Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, through the wilderness, and into the Holy Land.
In Numbers 11, we witness Moses’ frustration with the burden of responsibility for God’s people. The Israelites are constantly whining about circumstances, and God’s frustration towards them continues increasing. Moses is the middleman between God and the people, and it becomes too much for him to bear.
What does Moses do?
He cries out to the Lord, telling Him that it’s all too much for him.
How does God respond? Does He tell Moses to grin and bear it? No, God hears Moses and instructs him to find 70 leaders to help care for His people.
How often do we feel the need to carry our burdens alone? Pride holds us back from asking for help. We “should” be able to deal with (fill in the blank), especially if God has called us to the task at hand.
But, the truth is,
We were never meant to carry these burdens on our own.
What burden have you been carrying? What are some ways you can lighten the load?
I have never been one to handle uncertainty well.
When my youngest son came down with RSV (a respiratory virus), it was one of the scariest times of my life. He went from being a healthy three-month-old to almost being placed on a ventilator. I had no control over the situation. During a time that was already stressful, I was adding fuel to the fire by allowing my thoughts to run free.
When stressful events happen, we tend to play out scenarios in our heads. Here are some ways we do so;
“What If” thinking:
Ruminating all possible outcomes of a situation (i.e., what if my baby is brain-damaged, what if I had brought him in sooner)?
Predicting/Assuming:
Thinking that you know what will happen in a specific situation
(i.e., he’s going to have respiratory issues forever).
Catastrophizing:
Thinking the worst
(i.e., my baby is going to die).
These are the mechanisms we use as an attempt to control situations that are beyond our control. The two culprits driving our thoughts? Fear and Anxiety. Unfortunately, these ways of thinking often cause us to behave or react in ways that aren’t always helpful to us or those around us, yet, they are normal human responses.
The good news; we don’t have to camp in these thought patterns. We can train our minds to think differently. Here are some examples;
“What If”
“What if my son is brain-damaged?”
Response: “God will give you the strength to deal with it.”
Predicting/Assuming;
“I just know he’s going to suffer from respiratory issues from this day forward.”
Response: “And, if he does – like everything else in our life – we will deal with it and educate him on how to deal with it.”
Catastrophizing;
“He’s going to die.”
Response: “No matter the outcome, I trust God. He knows and sees the entire picture. I can do anything with Him by my side.
What is your go-to way of thinking during times of uncertainty?
Lately, I’ve been obsessing about my physical appearance. I got new make-up (was way too excited when it arrived) and just made another purchase last night. I’ve also wanted a new wardrobe (even though I hardly leave my house these days).
I truly thought I was focusing on appearance, but then I realized it’s not about what I look like (well, maybe a little). It’s my way of managing things when I feel powerless in other areas of my life.
Control gives the illusion of security and safety. It might make us feel better in the moment but ultimately ends up confusing our priorities and choices. If we take the layer of control away, we often see that there are deeper issues involved.
What steps can we take to become less controlling?
Identify the situations you find yourself being controlling.
Some might be;
-house needs to be clean
–appearance needs to be flawless
-need to do it all (perfect mom, wife, employee)
-relationships (boyfriend, husband, kids)
If you are having a hard time pinpointing areas;
-ask someone close to you what they see (others can oftentimes see things that we can’t).
-ask the Holy Spirit to reveal these areas in your life.
2. Need
What is underneath the behavior? What is this control fulfilling?Â
There is something you are getting from it. Some examples of underlying needs;
-self-esteem, insecurity (i.e., feeling “good enough”)
-anxiety (i.e., predictability, stability)
-trust (i.e., protection from being hurt)
3. Choice
Ask yourself; are these behaviors working for me?
If not, start with changing one (only one) of the situations you’ve identified. Your flesh will fight you on this, but it’s about training your mind and not allowing your feelings to run the show, especially when you’re uncomfortable (and you will be at the beginning).
4. Pray
-for the strengthening of your mind
-for increased faith and trust in God (in general and in the specific situations you are working on)
-for wisdom as you move forward with the process.
I highly encourage getting an accountability partner. It’s hard to do this stuff on our own. If you can’t think of someone, feel free to contact me, and I can help.
Where do you struggle with control the most?
Sometimes, when I’m struggling to express myself, I write poetry. Here’s something I wrote in light of suicide awareness month. It’s a dialogue between an influencer on social media and one of their followers.
You never know the impact you can have on someone’s life.
Follower:
I see you on Snapchat
Your Instagrams lit
I got mad respect
For the lyrics you spit
I wish I could do that
Put words to the pain
Release all my troubles
Like a downpour of rain
But I hold it all in
And I act like it’s fine
But I can’t anymore
I’m all set to resign
Influencer:
I’m glad you reached out
I’ve been where you’re at
The struggle is real
I’d get support stat
Our thoughts hold us captive
Eyes blinded by pain
Can’t see through the darkness
Of scarring and stains
I’m a straight-up survivor
I’ve walked through that door
My pride kept it hidden
My life, I endured
But I stand here today
With a purposeful mission
By the grace of our God
Not of my own volition
I affirm your existence
You are not a mistake
You are here for a reason
Even though your heart aches
Please sleep on it, sis
And let these words brew
But know that I’m listening
And I’m praying for you
How can your past suffering give someone hope today?
It’s hard to persevere when you’re not getting the results you had hoped for.
I’ve been writing for a while now. My goals have shifted more than once over the years (aspiring author, speaker, life coach), but, at this point, I kind of expected to be further along than I am, which can be discouraging at times.
I get caught up in the number game; followers, engagements, likes, and any other validation around being an influencer. I start comparing my brand aesthetics and overall content with other bloggers who are more “popular.” It can easily lead me to question my purpose.
We set goals with the intention of meeting them. When we realize that we are not meeting them or that there might be a chance of failure, we think about throwing in the towel (or do). “Might as well opt out now before we fail for real.”
We need measurable goals to determine outcomes, and there may come a time when we need to concede (I’m so not there yet), but we also need to remember the “why” behind our goals and desires. Our why is our driving force.
I loathed myself for many years and spent so much time and energy searching for identity and wholeness. I don’t want ANYONE to ever feel this way about themselves. THIS is my why.
So tell me, what’s yours?
Today we develop our battle plan.
1 Peter 5:8 tells us to be alert and of sober mind. We have been doing this by becoming aware of how anxiety affects us and the ways we respond do it.
Strategy #1 Awareness
Know Your Weaknesses
-temptations (i.e., worry)
-desire (i.e., fix things on your own)
-response (i.e., panic)
Know The Enemy Of God
-mission/goal (i.e., separate us from God)
-how the enemy works (i.e., division, hatred)
Know Who God Is
-His attributes
-His promises
-His faithfulness
Know Who You Are
-chosen
-protected
-empowered
-victorious
Our second strategy comes from Ephesians 6:11, telling us to put on the armor of God. The moment we turned our lives over to God is the moment we received our armor. Unfortunately, many of us forgot to put it on.
Strategy #2 Put On Your Armor, And Keep It On!
Know Gods Word
-read it daily
-truth vs. lies
-test all thoughts against God’s Word, if they are not in alignment with what He says about you, kick them to the curb.
Prayer
-pray boldly in the name of Jesus
-pray God’s attributes and who you are in Him
-proclaim His promises and the victory that is yours
-pray for strength and power
Choice
-obedience over desires
-believe what God’s Word says over thoughts and feelings
-faith over fear
Remember
-the battle has already been won
-we stand in victory
This battle was never meant to be ours alone.
When we choose to partner with God, we are a force to be reckoned with.
Are you ready for battle?
In order to prepare for battle, we need to know what we are fighting against.
My desires led to living a selfish life. The words I spoke over my life were those of defeat and degradation. The lies that I believed about myself created my reality, telling me I wasn’t good enough. Temptations caused me to do things that weren’t good for me. I made many decisions that hurt myself and others.
I have always been my own worst enemy.
Enemy #1 Ourselves
My worldview has helped me to understand that there is also a spiritual battle happening, one between good and evil. While researching this topic I came across a “job description” that I thought was quite fitting. “The enemy is like a prosecuting attorney, calling attention to the unworthiness of mankind, collecting evidence to prove cases (source unknown).”
Now that we know the mission of the enemy, we need to know what to look for;
rebellion
distortion
darkness
disorder
chaos
death
stealing
destruction
How does the enemy work? Mostly behind the scenes.
hatred
division
temptation
lies
deception
working through our weaknesses
Enemy #2: The Accuser
Peter 5:8 says, “Your enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
Now that we know what we are fighting against, we can develop our battle plan.
In what areas are you vulnerable to attack?
Has your anxiety ever caused you to feel so physically and mentally uncomfortable, you just wanted to shed your skin?
I hated that feeling. I would do anything to make those feelings go away, so much so that I ended up becoming my very own doctor, self-medicating with drugs and alcohol.
These substances provided an illusioned vacation. Unfortunately, when the drugs wore off, my anxiety would be waiting for me, holding up a “welcome back” sign, excited to re-engage. Numbing my symptoms only made them worse.
I am a natural reactor, I’ve always been, BUT, over time I’ve learned to respond to things (like my anxiety) rather than react. Hallelujah, there’s hope for everybody!
We’re not always able to control when anxiety hits, but we can control the way we respond to it.
How do you react or respond to anxiety?
I grew up by the world’s standards, often hearing;
If you want something, go and get it. If there’s a problem, you fix it. All responsibility was placed on the individual.
There were a few problems with this.
Once I became a believer, my worldview shifted. I no longer felt the need to control everything. I managed what I could and chose to trust God with the rest, but this didn’t happen right away.
Like any other relationship, it took me a while to build trust. Through reading God’s Word, I learned a lot about His character and who He was, discovering that He was in fact Trustworthy.
He keeps His promises. We see this by his finished work on the cross.
Thus began a process of developing my worldview and overall foundation. This has affected the way I view the world and how I function in it. It’s all helped me to deal with my anxiety from a more biblical perspective.
What we believe about the world influences everything in our lives, including how we deal with anxiety.
What’s your worldview?
