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Hormones

3 Ways The Enemy Attacks Our Identity During The Already Dreadful Time Of PMS, And How To Deal With It.

Jaime

PMS sucks. The rage, anxiety, irritability, and depression can take you down. As if that’s not enough, we have the added layer of feeling terrible about ourselves for what we’ve said or done during this time in our cycle. This is where the enemy gets a foothold.

Self-Deprecation

Our inner critic sneaks up on us, starting with a whisper and getting louder through the day. Your attitude spirals into a negative space, especially about yourself.

“Nice move, idiot. Why did you say that? Why did you do that? What were you thinking?”

Shame 

After a meltdown or explosion of emotions (usually towards the people you love most), you don’t just feel bad about your actions but about who you are as a person, leading to “I am” statements: 

“I am terrible. I am a disappointment. I am worthless.”

Guilt

Not attacking your personhood but continuously reminding yourself of what you’ve said and done—difficulties forgiving yourself even after others have already forgiven you. 

“Remember what happened yesterday? Remember how you freaked out? Remember how you thought you were a “good Christian” but acted demon-possessed?”

All the tactics above involve how we think and talk to ourselves, and it’s during these vulnerable times when we are most at risk for spiritual attack.

Here are some proactive tips to plan for that fun time of the month:

Track your cycle

I used to get caught off guard when my mind would go south, but once I started tracking my cycle, I could anticipate this vulnerable time and plan ahead. They have all sorts of apps for this, or you can follow it on your Google calendar, which I do.

Be aware of the company you keep

The people in our lives can trigger certain feelings about ourselves. Surround yourself with positive, encouraging people who speak life over you. Hang with the negative Nancy’s another time.

Fill Your Mind with Truth

-Read the word

-Listen to worship music or Christian podcasts

-Watch sermons 

Proactively doing these things will keep your mind focused so you know it’s not the truth when your thoughts, emotions, or the enemy spit lies at you.

Why does this matter?

The enemy wants nothing more than to convince us that we are not who God says we are. But, we need to understand that nothing (our actions, words, explosions, meltdowns, feelings, thoughts, or what anyone else says about you) will EVER change that. 

Our Part is:

-To acknowledge our humanity. 

-Ask for forgiveness when we mess up.

-Accept the gift of grace we’ve been given. Jesus’ death on the cross solidifies our identity, which means we are forever Daughters of the King.

What do you struggle most with during PMS, and what steps will you incorporate during your next cycle?

Mommy Moments

The Weiner Grabber: A Hilarious and Inappropriate Mommy Moment.

Jaime

We used to have a garbage picker-upper toy, but in our house, we called it the “Weiner Grabber.” My kindergartner wanted to bring it to school for “show and tell.”

On this particular day, we were late and had to go through the office. Thinking it was hilarious (and being that Calvin was holding it), I informed everyone in the office -including the Principal- the name of this gadget. I got a few weird looks and laughs, kissed my son, and sent him to his classroom.

While walking to my car, I realized I had just sent my son to school with a WEINER GRABBER, which he planned to show EVERYONE!

I emailed his teacher, informing her that he might identify his contraption as such. A few hours later, she told me that Calvin got up before the class and, with all seriousness, introduced his very own “Weiner Grabber.”

Mom of the year! I have so many moments like this, I could write a book.

What funny (or inappropriate) moments have you had as a mom?

Mental Health, Suicide

Scars & Stains

Jaime

Sometimes, when I’m struggling to express myself, I write poetry. Here’s something I wrote in light of suicide awareness month. It’s a dialogue between an influencer on social media and one of their followers.

You never know the impact you can have on someone’s life.

Follower:

I see you on Snapchat
Your Instagrams lit
I got mad respect
For the lyrics you spit

I wish I could do that
Put words to the pain
Release all my troubles
Like a downpour of rain

But I hold it all in
And I act like it’s fine
But I can’t anymore
I’m all set to resign

Influencer:

I’m glad you reached out
I’ve been where you’re at
The struggle is real
I’d get support stat

Our thoughts hold us captive
Eyes blinded by pain
Can’t see through the darkness
Of scarring and stains

I’m a straight-up survivor
I’ve walked through that door
My pride kept it hidden
My life, I endured

But I stand here today
With a purposeful mission
By the grace of our God
Not of my own volition

I affirm your existence
You are not a mistake
You are here for a reason
Even though your heart aches

Please sleep on it, sis
And let these words brew
But know that I’m listening
And I’m praying for you

How can your past suffering give someone hope today?

Anxiety Series

Prepare For Battle – Day 5

Jaime

Today we develop our battle plan.

1 Peter 5:8 tells us to be alert and of sober mind. We have been doing this by becoming aware of how anxiety affects us and the ways we respond do it.

Strategy #1 Awareness

Know Your Weaknesses
-temptations (i.e., worry)
-desire (i.e., fix things on your own)
-response (i.e., panic)

Know The Enemy Of God
-mission/goal (i.e., separate us from God)
-how the enemy works (i.e., division, hatred)

Know Who God Is
-His attributes
-His promises
-His faithfulness

Know Who You Are
-chosen
-protected
-empowered
-victorious

Our second strategy comes from Ephesians 6:11, telling us to put on the armor of God. The moment we turned our lives over to God is the moment we received our armor. Unfortunately, many of us forgot to put it on.

Strategy #2 Put On Your Armor, And Keep It On!

Know Gods Word
-read it daily
-truth vs. lies
-test all thoughts against God’s Word, if they are not in alignment with what He says about you, kick them to the curb.

Prayer
-pray boldly in the name of Jesus
-pray God’s attributes and who you are in Him
-proclaim His promises and the victory that is yours
-pray for strength and power

Choice
-obedience over desires
-believe what God’s Word says over thoughts and feelings
-faith over fear

Remember
-the battle has already been won
-we stand in victory

This battle was never meant to be ours alone.

When we choose to partner with God, we are a force to be reckoned with.

Are you ready for battle?

Anxiety Series

Prepare For Battle – Day 4

Jaime

In order to prepare for battle, we need to know what we are fighting against.

My desires led to living a selfish life. The words I spoke over my life were those of defeat and degradation. The lies that I believed about myself created my reality, telling me I wasn’t good enough. Temptations caused me to do things that weren’t good for me. I made many decisions that hurt myself and others.

I have always been my own worst enemy.

Enemy #1 Ourselves

My worldview has helped me to understand that there is also a spiritual battle happening, one between good and evil. While researching this topic I came across a “job description” that I thought was quite fitting. “The enemy is like a prosecuting attorney, calling attention to the unworthiness of mankind, collecting evidence to prove cases (source unknown).”

Now that we know the mission of the enemy, we need to know what to look for;

rebellion
distortion
darkness
disorder
chaos
death
stealing
destruction

How does the enemy work? Mostly behind the scenes.

hatred
division
temptation
lies
deception
working through our weaknesses

Enemy #2: The Accuser

Peter 5:8 says, “Your enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

Now that we know what we are fighting against, we can develop our battle plan.

In what areas are you vulnerable to attack?

Anxiety Series

Prepare For Battle – Day 3

Jaime

Has your anxiety ever caused you to feel so physically and mentally uncomfortable, you just wanted to shed your skin?

I hated that feeling. I would do anything to make those feelings go away, so much so that I ended up becoming my very own doctor, self-medicating with drugs and alcohol.

These substances provided an illusioned vacation. Unfortunately, when the drugs wore off, my anxiety would be waiting for me, holding up a “welcome back” sign, excited to re-engage. Numbing my symptoms only made them worse.

I am a natural reactor, I’ve always been, BUT, over time I’ve learned to respond to things (like my anxiety) rather than react. Hallelujah, there’s hope for everybody!

We’re not always able to control when anxiety hits, but we can control the way we respond to it.

How do you react or respond to anxiety?

Anxiety Series

Prepare For Battle – Day 2

Jaime

I grew up by the world’s standards, often hearing;

If you want something, go and get it. If there’s a problem, you fix it. All responsibility was placed on the individual. 

There were a few problems with this.

  1. My ways of fixing things weren’t always good for me.
  2. Knowing that my entire life depended on me was way too much pressure.

Once I became a believer, my worldview shifted. I no longer felt the need to control everything. I managed what I could and chose to trust God with the rest, but this didn’t happen right away.

Like any other relationship, it took me a while to build trust. Through reading God’s Word, I learned a lot about His character and who He was, discovering that He was in fact Trustworthy.

He keeps His promises. We see this by his finished work on the cross.

Thus began a process of developing my worldview and overall foundation. This has affected the way I view the world and how I function in it. It’s all helped me to deal with my anxiety from a more biblical perspective.

What we believe about the world influences everything in our lives, including how we deal with anxiety.

 

What’s your worldview?

Mommy Moments

To Homeschool Or Not To Homeschool?

Jaime

I can’t begin to count the times I’ve said, “I’d never homeschool unless God called me to it.” Well, guess what?

I decided to homeschool my kids for the upcoming school year. I’ve been super proactive about it. I’ve done training’s, scoped out curriculum, started following mama’s on Instagram who homeschools their kids, all the things.

AND then, just the other day, my husband and I decided to place them in private school.

Initially, I was confused. I wondered why I had gone through the process of preparation when God already knew the outcome. I realize now, the process itself was, in fact, a personal process of fully surrendering my plans to Him.

You see, this was the first year that ALL of my kids were going to be in school full time. I’ve been looking forward to this day for years. Why? Because I want my time. Wanting my own time is not a bad thing, but God knows how deep my selfishness runs in this area.

I needed a priority check. I’ve felt a calling to women’s ministry for a while now, but I needed a reminder that my family is my first ministry. I’ve known this intellectually, but I never truly surrendered my heart and will, until now.

How has God flipped the script in your life?

Mental Health

What If There Was More To Suffering Than Meets The Eye?

Jaime

Do you enjoy suffering? If you had three wishes, would they be pain, distress, and hardship? I’m not a mind reader, but I think the answer would be a hard NO.

If I had to explain my feelings about having a mental illness, I’d compare it to kale; I hate it, I don’t want it, it’s gross (in my opinion). Yet, it’s good for me (stay with me). AND if you blend it with some pineapple, yogurt, bananas, and honey, it’s not so bad.

Focusing on the suckiness of my illness kept me in dark places, but through reading God’s Word and studying the topic of suffering, my perspective started to shift. He revealed to me that there was a purpose behind the pain.

I am a strong-willed, stubborn girl, and God knows that. He knew which path would build my character and prepare me for his purposes. My suffering has not been wasted. God has transformed my afflictions into encouragement for others.

Even though I still wouldn’t raise my hand for more pain, I do understand that sometimes it takes pain to help us on the journey of becoming who we are meant to be.

After all, God is in the business of blending burdens into blessings.

How has the path of suffering served you or others?

Mental Health

Dear Anxiety

Jaime

Dear Anxiety,

A lot is going on in the world right now. I can feel you lurking beneath the surface. It’s during these times when you awaken from hibernation.

I know you think you’re protecting me, but you’re not. The truth is, you make me nuts. Hanging out with you causes a physical reaction and an excavating of all rational thinking. You plant seeds of worry that grow into skyscrapers.

You’ve ruled my days, preventing me from enjoying the precious moments in life. You were my default for the big and little things. You advised my choices and influenced my reactions. You came at me hard after my daughter was born, making me believe she was going to die.

You’ve forced yourself upon me. I never felt like I had a choice, but now it’s different.

I’ve been training for battle. I’m heavily armed. My greatest weapon?

The Truth

Truth tells me that I no longer have to engage with you. I get to choose whether or not I accept your thoughts and feelings. Even when my breath is shallow and incessant thoughts circle my brain, I Get To Choose.

I acknowledge your presence, but you will no longer control me. My choice partnered with God’s power is indestructible. And even though you still exist, I know how the story ends.

Spoiler Alert: you don’t survive.

Mommy Moments

Change The Lens

Jaime

We typically view our parents/caregivers through a subjective lens.

As a child, my parents were superheroes. During my teenage years, they knew nothing. Once I reached adulthood, I went through a judgemental phase. I wondered about the choices they made and the “why’s” behind it.

No matter what my parents did, they were doomed. My experiences with them shaped who they were in my eyes.

A few years back, I interviewed my parents individually. I wanted to learn more about their backgrounds and experiences. I so appreciated their transparency and willingness to share themselves with me as they did. It was then that God whispered, “See my child; they are human, like you.” For the first time ever, I saw them as children of God. From that point on, I was able to love and accept them for who they were.

We all have flaws and baggage; some weigh heavier than others. Resentment and unforgiveness reside in our hearts. We drown in the memories of our past, not able to swim freely toward the future. But we don’t have to remain in these places.

The question is, how do we move forward?

  • Pray for a softening of the heart and the willingness to forgive. Ask God to see them through His eyes.
  • What’s their story? Ask them questions. If you are not comfortable with that, ask people who know/knew them.
  • And remember, they are broken people like you and me.

This doesn’t mean that whatever has happened to you is okay; it just means that you are choosing to let go of it and hand it over to God, so you can move forward. Don’t let your past define your future. You can be set free.

What steps can you take today to change your lens?

Mental Health

Mangled Mind

Jaime

Yesterday was a rough day. I found myself connecting more with the mangled than the masterpiece.

I was involved in a battle, a spiritual one. It was like an arm-wrestling match between lies and truth. The truth kept me in the game, but the lies were strong.

What did this look like?

Unhealthy thoughts, insecurities, and anxiety.

What did I do?

  • I shared it with my women’s group. I know full well that when I keep this stuff in the dark, the enemy feeds on it. I felt extremely vulnerable after sharing BUT my desire to live in the freedom that Jesus has given trumps all else.
  • I went to a pool party/bible study. I forced myself to go when all I wanted to do was isolate. I knew if I went with a servants heart, I’d feel better. A good time was had, AND as usual, God provided the exact words I needed to hear through a fellow believer’s reading of Scripture. He is such a personal God.

Through this situation, I learned something (always growing and learning); My pride is still alive and kicking, and I may not be as humble as I thought.

On most days the truth can slam lies down with little effort. What I need to do is remain close to the Source and stay away from things that don’t serve me well.

I am a work in progress, who is dearly loved.

What keeps you grounded in the truth?

Raining In My Head
Mental Health

It’s Always Raining In My Head

Jaime

I sit in a pit that’s dark and deep

My body bruised and bloody

It hurts too much even to weep

The ground is cold and muddy

I tuck my knees into my chest

Soothing myself by rocking

The pain of life that I digest

The door of death keeps knocking

My thoughts tell me that I’m no good

I’m damaged, bad, and broken

I’d change things if I felt I could

My destiny has spoken

My future filled with fear and dread

I’m just so sick of trying

It’s always raining in my head

I can’t stop thoughts of dying

I sit with you inside the pit

I’m right here by your side

Your mind can’t comprehend it

Through all those fears and lies

I hold you as you’re rocking

My heart breaks for your pain

These chains that need unlocking

My death was for your gain

Your thoughts do not define you

You rot in your own prison

You’ve been deceived and lied to

For this reason, I have risen

The future cannot harm you

When your life belongs to me

The clouds part to a sky thats blue

I ‘ve come to set you free

Below are some links to resources for anyone struggling with depression or any other mental health issues.


https://www.dbsalliance.org

https://www.nami.org

Mental Health

Anxiety Sucks

Jaime

Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 NLT

I’ve read this verse so many times. Instead of bringing me comfort, it often frustrated me. I understood that I wasn’t supposed to worry but how do I stop?

My anxiety resided in the details of each day, every once in a while vacating the property to rent a room in one of the more significant events in my life.

As I planned my days, obsessive thoughts consumed me, circling the details around and around with way too many conclusions. Intrusive thoughts dropped intermittently, taunting me with the “what if” game. The uncomfortable feeling of crawling in my skin made it unbearable at times.

I didn’t have a say about what was happening within me. It was exhausting.

How do I stop?

People would tell me: “stop worrying, its all in your head, everything will be fine.” They meant well but it only made me feel more anxious and isolated. If they could only see the hamster wheel in my head.

A few years back I was informed that I might need a specific surgery done. This wasn’t just any procedure, this was my worst- fear- come- true procedure.

It was the day of my follow up appointment, where my destiny would soon be determined. My knee bounced violently as I waited for the news. I felt like one of those tiny chihuahua’s that never stops shaking.

I had my bible open reading verses I had tagged on anxiety. I prayed. I listened to worship music. Even with all of these things, my anxiety remained close.

My worst fear come true

A nurse arrived to take my vitals. We started chatting. I shared how nervous I was and we continued talking about the small stuff.

Then something weird happened…

The atmosphere in the room shifted with the mention of God. This amazing nurse shared her heart with me. We prayed together, hugged, and she left the room.

By the time the doctor came in, my anxiety was gone, completely gone. He even mentioned how relaxed I appeared. I couldn’t explain it, but I could tell you who was behind it.

Did I mention that I didn’t have to have the surgery? Win!

Win!

What I experienced in that doctor’s office was supernatural. I can try to figure it out, or I can embrace the gift of transcendent peace that Philippians talks about. I choose the present.

I can only hope to have more experiences like the one above. The reality of my humanity is that I live in a broken world so there will be struggles.

AND

God is gracious. He doesn’t just leave me in this place of struggle. He encourages me, guiding me in the midst of the struggle through his Word.

Now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me-everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9

I may not be able to prevent the Ferris wheel of thoughts from coming to town, but I do get to choose which seat I jump into.

Fix your thoughts on what is true

I’m learning to listen to the thoughts that speak the truth, letting the contaminated ones float into the sewer where they belong. The more I’m in the Word, the more I’m able to identify these life-giving thoughts.

Would you please pray with me

Lord, thank you for providing me with a glimpse of what’s to come. I pray for more of it! You know the anxiety we deal with. You’ve been there yourself. If it is not your will to heal us then please give us the resources we need for it to be more manageable. Bring people into our lives that will walk among us, so we don’t have to suffer alone. I pray for all life-giving thoughts to be louder than any other. Thank you for never leaving us. Help us to focus more on you instead of our feelings and circumstances. Amen!

Mental Health

I’m Bipolar

Jaime

“You are bipolar,” the doctor told me.

“No I’m not,” was my response.

This was first my experience with a Psychiatrist. I didn’t appreciate his frankness and besides that, he was wrong.

Years passed, and once again I found myself in a Psychiatrist’s office, but this time it was a different doctor. “You are bipolar,” he told me.

“Crap!”

Growing up I struggled with depression, anxiety, and anger. These three symptoms were besties. One was never present without the other, although much of the time one would lead the rest.

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I knew I had issues but an official diagnosis freaked me out. I was now willing to hear it but accepting it was a whole different thing.

The doctor suggested medication, but I wasn’t ready. I was already self-medicating with my dear friends: drugs and alcohol. They had been around a long time.

I knew I had issues

It got to a point where my coping methods started working against me, taking my mental health to even more extreme highs and lows, so I chose to get clean and sober.

I no longer had my friends to console me and needed another way to manage my symptoms, so I became open to the possibility of taking legit medication.

I didn’t want this diagnosis

I didn’t want to be labeled.

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I had a specific idea of how people with mental health issues looked. What I had seen was extreme. I wasn’t like “them.” I was a functional part of society.  This mindset kept me stagnant, floating in the river of denial.

I started attending support groups through DBSA (Depression Bipolar Support Alliance). I never knew how broad the spectrum of mental health was. It was at these groups that I began to release the stigma I had attached to mental health.

I didn’t want to be labeled

Fellow Christians would tell me stories about God healing them of their depression. I’d walk away thinking, why them and not me God?

I believed God was more than capable of healing me, but that’s not part of my story.

Once I started to accept that this was something I’d struggle with throughout my life, my attitude started to change. Instead of asking for this “thing” to be taken away, I started praying that he would use it for His glory.

He has.

As I started sharing my experiences, others shared theirs. If it wasn’t them who struggled it was usually someone close to them.

God put people in my path for me to support and encourage when I was a complete trainwreck, reminding me that even at my lowest, He can use me.

I can’t even begin to count the times He’s provided comfort to me in the midst of it all. Sometimes it was a text from a friend; other times it was a song playing on the radio. Although, nothing beats my all-time favorite comfort tactic like my tattoo (Ephesians 2:10).

Why them and not me, God?

The struggle and pain that comes with life are real. Knowing that there might be a greater purpose than what my eyes can see encourages me to keep moving forward.

Having bipolar doesn’t define me, even though it tries to convince me otherwise. When my thoughts start attaching to this idea, God gently reminds me “You are who I say you are, my beautiful daughter.”

God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

If you are in need of some encouragement today, please listen to this song.

The Holidays

Dealing With People Who Irk You During The Holidays With Purpose and Intention.

Jaime

We all have that one person (or more) who gets on our last nerve during holiday gatherings. Whether it’s due to family dynamics, different values, communication styles, or overall holiday pressures and expectations, they irk us. Once a year, for the greater good, we are expected to tolerate them.

What if we changed things up and didn’t just tolerate them but were purposefully present with meaningful engagement? You might think there is no way in **** I can do that, but I beg to differ.

Here are some strategies to use when peeps start getting under your skin:

Look at this person as an image bearer like you. Acknowledging human brokenness puts everyone on a level playing field and adjusts your perceptions of them. 

Be curious. We all have a personal story; get to know theirs. Even if you know them well, there might still be stuff going on in their lives you’re unaware of. Approaching them intentionally with active listening might help to lessen the annoyance and increase compassion. 

Serve them physically and emotionally. 

  • Ask if they need anything throughout the day/evening. If they have an empty cup, offer to refill it.
  • If they drink too much or say something stupid, give them grace. The previous step of getting to know them will hopefully change your attitude and approach to their behaviors.

Remember, we’ve been saved by grace that we didn’t deserve, so we, too, should shell out some grace, even when we don’t want to.

Prayer

God, let your Holy Spirit fill us this holiday season. Help us be purposeful and intentional in thought, speech, and action, extending grace to others, especially when not feeling it. Thank you for the grace you’ve given through your Son, Jesus. Amen!

To whom and in what way will you show grace this holiday season?

Dependence on God, Drugs, Mental Health, Support, The Holidays, Uncategorized

Don’t White Knuckle Sobriety During The Holidays. Plan Ahead With These 5 Tips.

Jaime

Tempted to drink during the holidays? Try these 5 practical steps to stay sober.

𝟏. 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 (for accountability purposes).

It might be awkward, but necessary if you’re serious about it. It’s easy to plan on not drinking when we’re not yet in the situation, but much harder while in the moment.

𝟐. 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. You will actively be drinking something and feel less self-conscious around others.

Heck, drink beverages in fancy cups. “I’ll have a Shirley Temple in a wine glass, please.”

𝟑. 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝. The bathroom works. Lock that door, throw water on your face, look in the mirror, and say, “You can do this, God, please help me do this.”

𝟒. 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐦, 𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐬—𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲. It will help curb those other fixations that go along with the habit.

𝟓. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞.

It’s not the most convenient thing to do, and you might get crap for it, but your true family and friends will understand. Hit a 12-step meeting, call your sponsor (if you have one), or someone else who gets it.

And remember, be gentle with yourself. After all, you ARE your own worst enemy. Take it one moment at a time.

Identity

Breaking Through Religion To Get To The Relationship: Discovering your true identity in Christ.

Jaime

Before getting into the identity piece, let’s start with defining religion and relationship, specifically as they relate to Christianity.

What is Religion? 

A set of beliefs, practices, and rituals relating to faith that includes works, emphasizing our efforts to gain God’s acceptance.

What is a Relationship?

It is an intimate and secure bond between us and God (not to be mistaken as a relationship of equals). We are accepted by grace through faith because of what HE did through Jesus.

How do these two things affect our identity?

Identity in Religion

Who you are and how God sees you is based upon YOUR works. You are favored when doing what you are “supposed” to do but guilty and unloved when you fail. This puts all responsibility on you, resulting in an unstable and insecure identity that changes depending on your efforts.

Identity in Relationship

Who you are and how God sees you is based on HIS doing. God is who He says He is, which means we are who He says we are. As our Creator, God is the only one with authority to define us, and since there is nothing we can do to earn his acceptance, we remain stable and secure in the works that have already been done through Jesus. Therefore, our identity never changes.

What do you struggle with when it comes to the issue of identity?

The Holidays
Jaime

Limit Your Stress During The Holidays By Doing These 5 Things.

I get anxious around the Holidays, specifically around cooking. I am not the best cook, so I’m always scared that I am going to poison my guests. I am hosting Thanksgiving this year, and instead of stressing out, I decided to get an already-cooked turkey and ham. I also got canned cranberry sauce (I’m a fan of the can).

If you want to enjoy the holidays with less stress, here are some tips:

Get premade dishes
Not everything needs to be homemade, no matter what anyone else says, and who has enough space to cook all the things, anyway? It also helps so you don’t have to time all your dishes to be ready at once.

Don’t go crazy cleaning your house
It’s clean enough. People don’t notice the things you notice. I’ve allowed this chore to steal my joy, and you know what they say: a mama’s attitude can make or break things.

Decorate Minimally
I have fall decorations around the house (I can’t even begin to think of Christmas) and already know how I’m setting the table. I don’t have a fancy tablecloth or a dazzling centerpiece. Just two small pumpkins, and the table settings.

Don’t compare yourself with others
Social media will make you feel terrible about yourself. It’s such a comparison trap. Those posts might look pretty, but you have no clue what is happening behind the scenes. Focus on what’s important, the company you are with.

Don’t worry about what’s been done in the generations past
I know we think that we can do everything but it’s okay to acknowledge your limits and make new memories. Heck, eat Chinese Food and enjoy spending time with family.

What is one thing you can do this holiday season to lessen the stress?

Dependence on God, Thought Life, Uncategorized

“You Know You Want To”

Jaime

“You know you want to,” it whispers.

“It’s not like you’re doing anything wrong.”

“You’re allowed to look and think about it/him/her.”

“No one has to know.”

“Aren’t you curious?”

The Voice of Temptation

It speaks my language

Knows my weaknesses

Appeals to my senses

The Voice of Temptation

Brings up my past

Deludes my thoughts

Blurs my vision

The Voice of Temptation

Spits lies

Is convincing

Wants me to engage my flesh

The Voice of God

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

The Voice of God

“God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12

The Voice of God

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

It’s time to make a choice.

Flesh vs. Spirit

What’s it gonna be?

Stay awake and pray so that you won’t enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Matthew 26:41

Uncategorized

Don’t Tell Me What To Do

Jaime

Obedience:

compliance with an order, request, law, or submission to another’s authority.

Eek, I’m not too fond of the word. It makes me think of obedience training for dogs. I ain’t no dog.

When the pastor tells the congregation to rise for communion each Sunday, my insides squirm, “Don’t tell me what to do.” I’m a rebel at heart and don’t submit to anyone. That is until I gave my life to Jesus.

Surrendering my life meant dying to self and placing God’s will and Word ahead of my desires, feelings, and thoughts. So, when the pastor tells me to rise, I do it. Not because he is telling me to, but because God has appointed him, and I’m called to respect that.

We (as believers) have a responsibility to live a certain kind of life. Saved by grace, we have put our faith and trust in God. As a result, our response should be that of obedience. Not because we have to, but because we GET to.

What does living an obedient life look like?

  1. Loving God
  2. Loving others

 Big Picture Obedience

-Viewing scripture as the highest authority in our lives and living by it.

-Reading the bible (so we know what scripture says).

-Prayer: asking for God’s guidance in all situations. 

– Worship: expressing gratitude for who God is and what He’s done.

-Sharing the gospel: telling others about Jesus. 

-Discipleship: mentorship in the ways of Jesus.

-Collaborating with the Holy Spirit in everything we do.

-Placing Jesus and his ways above everything (politics and other worldly ways).

-Willingness to continue being molded into the likeness of Jesus.

-Living life differently and sharing in His suffering. 

What this looks like in everyday life:

Entertainment:  Intentionally choosing what we watch and listen to. 

Choosing our words wisely.

Taking thoughts captive and aligning them with God’s will. 

Forgiveness (despite feelings). 

How we view and treat others.

Not sitting in our own pity parties. Taking responsibility for our part, repenting as needed, and accepting the gift of grace that’s already been given.

How we use our time, and where we put our energy.

What’s the point of obedience?

  • One of the highest forms (if not the highest) of worship. 
  • An expression of our love, faith, and trust in God. 
  • Preparation for wherever God leads us. Obedience in the small things prepares us for the bigger things.
  • Points others to God: Living and responding differently when storms of life occur.

Benefits of obedience:

  • A peace that transcends all understanding. An inner knowing that God has our best interests at heart.
  • Increased intimacy with Him.
  • Sanctification: Continue growing in the likeness of God
  • Not fearing man or anything else in this world.

What one step of obedience can you take today?

“Faith demands commitment at the level of your heart, but obedience demands commitment at the level of your feet.”

                                                         (Unknown)

Dependence on God, Identity, Support

Why Do We Suffer Alone?

Jaime

After church on Sunday, I stayed for prayer. I was struggling. After praying with a sister in Christ, we started chatting. She, too, suffers like I do. We discussed how easy it is to talk about the minor, everyday transgressions but not the deep, dark stuff. The stuff that keeps us enslaved, preventing us from living in the freedom Jesus provided. 

So, why IS it so hard to talk about these things?

Fear

Fear of judgment

Fear of embarrassment

Fear of not being accepted

If anyone ever knew_____ then_____ (fill in the blanks).

We are called to confess our sins and pray for each other that we may be healed (James 5:16), yet we still fear what others will think about us. Your feelings are legit. We are human and DO have opinions and feelings about situations and behaviors we are unfamiliar with. And, we need to put our fleshly biases aside and be open to hearing people’s stories, walking alongside them, even if/when we don’t understand.

Sins kept in the darkness result in decay, isolation, shame, and guilt. All things Jesus died for. When we expose them to the light, they begin to lose their power (Romans 6:18).

Where do we start?

God

-Repent and thank HIM for the forgiveness already given through Jesus’ sacrifice.

-Ask God to give you the courage to expose your “stuff” to the light. Stop relying on yourself and ask for help. 

-Pray for trustworthy, faith-filled, walking-the-walk-type individuals to come into your life (an individual/mentor or group).

-Join a small group. If you can’t find one, start one.

-Don’t give in when the enemy tries to convince you to keep it a secret (whatever IT is) because he will. He’s a liar and doesn’t want you moving closer to God.

-Don’t allow your feelings to lead the way. Obedience to God’s word will not lead you astray (be doers of the word and not just hearers- James 1:22).

You’d be surprised how many others relate and share in your suffering. It only takes one person’s vulnerability to create an environment of safety and connection.

What is one thing you can do today to move towards the light?

Attitude, Mental Health, Support, Thought Life

Ways To Refocus Our Minds On God

Jaime

My peace starts dissipating as I watch the news. My focus on the ever-flipping changes in the world incites worry and doubt. If I don’t switch modes, my thoughts will spiral down a road of hopelessness.

If you’ve lived in this world over the past year, you’ve likely experienced some of the following;

Isolation

Loneliness

Depression

Anxiety/Worry

Insecurity (as a nation)

Doubt

Whatever your experience has been, I’d like to validate it. It’s been a challenging year!

This is why we need to be diligent in refocusing our minds. Remembering, that as believers, even though we live IN the world, we are called not to be OF it.

How do we do this?

By focusing on the NEVER-changing Word of God.

Let’s talk about Ephesians 4:21-24

“Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God-truly righteous and holy.” 

This passage gives valuable information on how we can refocus our attention on God.

I highlighted some “power” words in the passage because they speak to what WE ought to be doing. Our relationship with God is a two-way street, which means that we have a responsibility to make these things work.

21: We have HEARD the Gospel = We KNOW what it says. 

21 -22: We have LEARNED that truth comes from God = You no longer have to live like you used to (old nature; worry, doubt, trusting in the ways of the world). His ways are now our ways.

23: LET the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes = DON’T conform to the ways of the world. You have the Holy Spirit within you and that power WILL help align your thoughts and attitudes with Gods (because it’s his will for you)

24: PUT on your new nature = Choose God’s way of living in the world.

Okay, but what does this look practically?

  1. Staying in the Word. Knowing what it says. If you’re struggling with something specific (i.e., loneliness, anxiety), read and memorize passages that speak about these things.
  2. Allocating specific times to watch the news and engage on social media. Then shutting it down.
  3. Reminding yourself that your thoughts and feelings are not truth.
  4. Actively seeking a support system of like-minded individuals to hold you accountable to the safe-guards you set in place.

We need to SEEK & CHOOSE his Kingdom every day so that the world we live in doesn’t take us down, because it will.

What is one thing you can do today to refocus your attention on God?